A Beholden Wanderer

Not all wanderers are lost. As such, joy is explicit in a nomad who finds meaning in a drifting passage. A realization, which hit me as I turned my gaze back to the time when I first set foot here in Jakarta.

A year ago, I would have thought it improbable to dream that such a journey is possible. I only knew that for the first time in years, I wanted to throw caution to the air and simply follow what my heart was telling me. I was a traveler with no certain plans. I just wanted to try and of course, fly. I was a wanderer who was lost with the realm of my dreams. No blueprint. Nothing. Just FAITH.

Now, as time proves its fleetingness again, I was brought back to the instance when uncertainties were all that I had. One year passed by so swiftly and 23rd of April marks my first year here in Indonesia. I have nothing in my heart but gratitude.

This country has been so generous to me in so many aspects. I’ve been showered lavish opportunities that I lost count of them. I’ve been given with so many friends that it feels like I am just home in the Philippines. I’ve been blessed specifically, spiritually.

Though there are personal sacrifices, they are nothing compared with the self- fulfillment that I have found in this foreign country. Indeed, God has been so generous with me.

One year in this land made me experience to travel for two times in Singapore and of course visit home in the Philippines twice also. I’ve been to different areas of Jakarta and nearby places as well. Yes, each travel is different. Each travel is meaningful. I’ve found them all when I bravely took that journey on the night of April 22.

What struck me the most since coming here was how people can be so generous with their words of appreciation. There is no inhibition of how they say their praises or appreciation. I am humbled beyond utterance of the people who love me here in spite of the short time that I have known them. Again, undoubtedly God has been so generous to me.

Conceivably, this journey has also catapulted me into the quest for meaning of life. Something has changed inside me. That change pierced the core of my life beyond elucidation by words alone. Again, I’ve found them here.

As future is ambiguous at this phase of my life, I don’t really know where this journey will bring me or how long will I stay here. But, as time marks my first year in this foreign land, allow me to say this to the country which has been so generous to me with blessings, to the people who have embraced me as one of them, to the school (and the school owner) which helped me with my spiritual journey, above all, to our generous Creator, who patiently led me in this path, Terima kasih banyak. I am nothing, yet, I was given everything. Yes, I am a beholden wanderer. 

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Home Away from Home

One of my greatest happiness as a teacher is whenever my student excels into something. Meet Tiara Kristene, my Indian student in Creative Writing who just recently published her article in a magazine with my guidance. Congrats, Tiara!

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Unity in Perspective

Travesty of Consternation

There's this feeling 

Inside my heart is gnawing 

The rage is boiling 

The pain is burning. 

Disclaimer: Image used is not of the blogger.

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Two Pockets

The setting was the classroom and I was still the teacher. Well, I thought so. Until a strange feeling enveloped me as I looked at the beaming faces in front of me. I watched in awe at the last paper I dropped in the transparent ‘pocket’ as it fell on the floor. One of my students clapped and others followed suit. I was momentarily perplexed of what was happening- I WAS A STUDENT of grade one kids.

It was one of those 'teacher moments’ that I realized while reading a story entitled, ‘Two Pockets’, to my grade one students that they simply couldn’t understand. Despite of explaining some difficult words and showing visual aids, there’s this language barrier which somehow hinders them from being fully condensed by the message of the story. I felt a bit frustrated but I tried even harder by explaining difficult words and asking somebody to translate in Bahasa.

Thereafter, I saw the transparent ‘pockets’ sticking out of the clear folder. I grabbed two and turned my back then cut the bottom part of the other one. What happened next was way too fast. Students wrote bad things about their classmates; bully, noisy, mean, naughty and so on. Then another paper was passed this time for good things; kind, nice, honest, quiet, respectful and so on. I separated the two into two piles.

I dropped the first pile of the positive notes to Pocket A with no hole. They stayed right there. But, students still couldn’t get it. Then, I started dropping the second pile of negative notes to Pocket B with hole. One by one, the papers fell. The student with the most difficulty in English language started clapping his hands while others followed suit. He exclaimed with utmost innocence. “Oh, that. You keep the good things ya, Ms. Then, you throw the bad things?” I smiled and started picking the papers from the floor. I tore them into tiny pieces and said, “Yes, they belong to the trash bin.” Then, I threw them in.

So, tonight I utter a prayer of thanks for being a ‘student’ even just for a day. By keeping two pockets with a hole and one with none, I learned to let go of the bad things that came my way today. I've placed all the pains and disappointments in the pocket with a hole. That way, I only have the good things which are enough to keep me in deep slumber.

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