Thursday, January 03, 2019

Today, I Failed

“The Phoenix must burn to emerge.” 
– Janet Fitch

The news was disheartening and perhaps, inevitable. Somehow, I had that notion of failure even before it came crashing on me. I worked so hard. Countless hours, in fact. Day and night, I worked laboriously unmindful of rewards. All that I wanted was to get a glimpse of success. Yet, none of it matters anymore. I failed.

The news however, only created that fire burning inside me to work even harder convincing myself that failure is not an indication of permanence. If my way did not work, that means I need to find another one that would work. Life is a series of disappointments, pains and hindrances. But, life is also a string of hope and success.

A friend once told me that once we hit rock bottom, there is no way but up. When I first heard the news, I felt worthless leveraging my skills that amounted to nothing. It was gut-sinking and terrifying but I had no choice but to face the truth- starting from nothing.

In hindsight, failure catapulted me into realization that the world is not so rosy but I can parlay the pain info future gains. Instead of sulking and trying to lick my wounds, I need to work even harder to maximize the probability of success. I failed but it does not mean the end. Failure in essence just made me internalize from the deepest recesses of my soul to examine the raw pain and find ways not to get on downward spiral which could harm myself more.

I failed. I understand that I am in pain. I acknowledge my vulnerability. But, I take the challenge to succeed by failing.

I got this.

“When you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” 
–Ellen DeGeneres- 

Wednesday, January 02, 2019

The Eyes that See the Best of Everything

The world is often dark. The reality is accentuated with the fact that more often than not, you are bombarded in social media with cruel, merciless, and nonsense posts. I do wonder, what is there to hope for?

The feeling of isolation is more potent than ever. Despite of what the technology has done to connect people around the globe, we still live in a really lonely world. We become more concerned of being ‘RIGHT’ than being ‘HEARD’. We desire for instant gratification by ‘likes’ and ‘comments’ on our posts than finding genuine happiness. We become judgmental without hearing facts because of how easy it is to do that instead of engaging in intelligent discourse. The world needs less anger, resentment, and negativity. We need the eyes that see the best of everything.

With all these less than optimal feelings, I take comfort with what Martin Luther says, “Everything that is done in the world is done by hope.” Sometimes we need to walk through the dark in order to see the light. It may be cloudy now but there’s a silver lining along the way.

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Tuesday, January 01, 2019

The Best of 2018

Just like that, 365 days of 2018 is over. The journey was both internal and external, finding the validation that life is indeed embarking in the unknown. Despite of my infallibility, I survived the challenges and the stark contrast of what I got so used to for many years- finding myself invariably failing over and over again. There were many moments that I questioned my worth and my confidence. Yet, my traverse is not defined solely by these deterrents. The trails of disappointments were long but the positivity is longer. Hence, let me reminisce the best memories to cap the year 2018.

1. Celebrated the Valentine’s Day at Grand Rapids
This trip allowed me to learn more about United States by visiting Gerald Ford Museum. The night stroll with my husband made it more memorable.

2. 3rd Anniversary Celebration at Chicago
We explored so many places together but we love the Adler Planetarium and the
Millennium Park.

3. Travel to New York
The sight of the Liberty State Park was so surreal. I could not believe that I finally saw it in person.

4. Met a Very Special Friend at Philadelphia
The highlight of my year. I have not seen her for almost seven years. Ours is an attestation that friendship will always be a special bond of two people who cared deeply about each other.

5. Birthday Celebration at Niagara Falls (Canada Side)
We were exhausted after several days of being on the road but the experience was amazing. Niagara Falls is beautiful beyond explanation!

6. River Tubing Adventure at Ludington State Park
What made this adventure special was not the tubing itself but swimming in the Big Lake with the waves higher than us. It was scary but at the same time an exciting experience.

7. Travel to the Most Beautiful Place in United States (Sleeping Bear Dunes)
I found the inner peace on this place. The place was nothing that I have seen in person. It was majestic and filled me with tranquility.

8. Fall Camping at Ludington State Park
The colors were beautiful and the company was special. We love the friendship and relationship made deeper by this trip. It was also my first time to stay in a camper!

9. Celebrated New Year with My Husband
New Year with my husband. He is the best gift that I could ever receive.

Cliché as it may seem, life is a journey. What happens along the way, the pains and disappointments, the gift of faith and hope, the crooked lines, the rocks and the mountains that blind you, they shape you and at the end and you will never be the same.

Cheers to the new year, fresh hope, more roads to traverse, and stronger FAITH. 


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