Today, I Failed

“The Phoenix must burn to emerge.” – Janet Fitch

The news was disheartening and perhaps, inevitable. Somehow, I had that notion of failure even before it came crashing on me. I worked so hard. Countless hours, in fact. Day and night, I worked laboriously unmindful of rewards. All that I wanted was to get a glimpse of success. Yet, none of it matters anymore. I failed.  

The news however, only created that fire burning inside me to work even harder convincing myself that failure is not an indication of permanence. If my way did not work, that means I need to find another one that would work. Life is a series of disappointments, pains and hindrances. But, life is also a string of hope and success.

A friend once told me that once we hit rock bottom, there is no way but up. When I first heard the news, I felt worthless leveraging my skills that amounted to nothing. It was gut-sinking and terrifying but I had no choice but to face the truth- starting from nothing.

In hindsight, failure catapulted me into realization that the world is not so rosy but I can parlay the pain info future gains. Instead of sulking and trying to lick my wounds, I need to work even harder to maximize the probability of success. I failed but it does not mean the end. Failure in essence just made me internalize from the deepest recesses of my soul to examine the raw pain and find ways not to get on downward spiral which could harm myself more.

I failed. I understand that I am in pain. I acknowledge my vulnerability. But, I take the challenge to succeed by failing.

I got this.

“When you take risks, you learn that there will be times when you succeed and there will be times when you fail, and both are equally important.” –Ellen DeGeneres-