Thursday, February 28, 2008

Sick, Tired, and Depressed

I am sick…yeah, right. I got infected with bugs.

My throat hurts, my eyes are red and watery, my feet are cold and clammy and practically all the cells of my body are throbbing with pain.

By mid- afternoon yesterday, my fever was 39.5 degree Celsius that I felt like my skin was being pierced with hot needles. I was reminded of the exact feelings I had right after my surgery last June. When another bag of blood for transfusion was attached to one of my IV’s, I felt like the pain skyrocketed when my fever broke to 40 degree Celsius.

It was a long battle with countless injections for skin tests and later on being administered with antibiotics thru endless needle pricks. I was shaking uncontrollably that I thought it would be my end already. Well, thankfully I survived.

My only consolation yesterday was I didn’t go through the same torment with endless shots from nurses and doctors. I wrapped myself with double comforter and took lots of fluids to help my aching throat then finally I drifted off to sleep.

The fever was on and off that I succumbed again to self- pitying.

After sleeping for almost the whole afternoon, I woke up still feeling worst. My eyes were so red that I got scared staring at them. The power of the almighty bugs…

When the girls arrived from school, I could hardly talk because my voice sounded like a croaking crow. Yeah, that bad.

I opted to stay in the room and ate there my dinner. Well, I could hardly swallow the food. Everything tasted like medicine…and I abhor it because it has been my companion for many months now.

My whole system crumbled that it feels like I’m falling again in a shady crater of pain and agony. So bad…

Like a good patient that I am, I avoided computer for as long as I could so as not to cause too much strain with my red eyes. I was able to bear ignoring the computer only the whole day yesterday and last night. That explains why I wasn't able to write anything for the blog.

However, it seems like the lure of computer is so strong that here I am again hitting the keyboard with all my might.

I missed Friendster, Blogspot, Bloglogs, Infowars, and other sites. So, I’m trying another medication now…the “drugnet” of the cyberspace. Maybe it’ll do the magic of healing.

Kidding aside, the past days felt like a horrible nightmare. My whole body was aching and in deep longing to be healed. In addition, the purplish bruise on my arm which was the result of regular laboratory tests the other day was also shouting for my attention.

I squirted fountain of virus all over the room by endless sneezing. So you could just imagine how painful my throat was with the efforts I needed to exert in spraying the power of the bugs. They owe me a lot for this.

Getting sick usually brings me this unspeakable desperation for being indisposed. I loathe the feeling of being unproductive…not that I am really prolific now. After all, I’ve been out of work for many months already after getting seriously ill early last year.

I hope the reign of the bugs won’t last for long. I can only sustain their clout for a short time. They didn’t give me a notice before invading my body…

Just like everything that happened in my life, this illness is beyond my control. It only proves that I am human…I can’t tell what will happen next in my future.

Let it be…the sun will shine soon and bath me with a new dawn of a healthy life. 


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