Friday, July 27, 2018

How We Survived a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationship is not for a faint heart. Humans are wired for instant gratification and the thought of not seeing or not being able to talk to the person you love is a difficult struggle to bear.

During our simple wedding at Jakarta.

Skype or Facebook messenger may not totally diminish the pain of separation but you can use it to build a strong foundation for your relationship. After all, it is known that people in long distance relationship have deeper and more meaningful communications. David and I were separated thousands of miles before finally seeing each other in person and more years of separation after getting married and processing our papers. It was through video calls and messages that we were able to work on establishing a stronger relationship.

Don’t doubt your love. Second-guessing decisions will weaken both of your will. What kills long distance relationship is the constant underlying ambiguity or irrational expectations. David and I had the same vision since we first talked. We knew that our goal for the future is to grow old together. This helped us surpassed all the struggles that we faced.

Don’t listen to skepticism. You have no responsibility to explain your choices in life and that includes your relationship. It is complicated enough for two people in love. People who surround you are merely spectators wishing for you to succeed or hoping for you to fail. When I married my husband, so many people expressed their doubts and indignation. But, marrying my best friend is the best thing that I have ever done. Cliche as it may sound, listen to what your heart says.

Live in love and hope.
A long distance relationship without hope will not live. Eventually, the excitement will die. I remember that from the first day we started talking until the last day we were separated, the level of excitement whenever we talked was the same. I would wake up 4:00 a.m. to be able to talk to him before work and he would do the same thing. Thousands of messages, hundreds of phone calls, and endless conversations kept our relationship strong.

Communicate from your Heart. Be open about your feelings. Spoken words are important since it’s hard to read body signals if you are thousand miles from each other. Explain your fears, insecurities, and reasons for jealousy. Love thrives in honesty.

There is no secret formula to make sure that long distance relationship works. However, my husband and I can assure you that all the tears, all the pains, and all the difficulties are definitely worth it. The day I came here to the United States to be reunited with him is the best thing that ever happened to me. His tight hug and tears of happiness affirmed a deep commitment to our future and to a love which is to infinity and beyond.


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