Monday, April 29, 2024

What I Do When My Heart is Anxious

Today, I have this unsettling grip of anxiety. It's that restless stirring in the depths of my being, a feeling that something isn't quite right but I can't quite pinpoint the cause. It's as though my heart is speaking a language my mind struggles to comprehend.

Anxiety is a formidable opponent, its origins sometimes shrouded in mystery. Yet, its effects are tangible, casting shadows over our thoughts and coloring our perceptions. When the heart is anxious, it can feel like navigating a stormy sea without a compass, unsure of which direction to take or how to find calm waters.

Ever since my cancer battle, I've often found myself in this place of uncertainty, where the fear emanates from deep within, a primal instinct that refuses to be silenced by reason alone. In those moments, it's easy to feel overwhelmed, to succumb to the torrent of worry and doubt. I try to convince myself that it is just the side effect of my medication, but my brain can't rationalize reasons.

However, I've also discovered that amidst the chaos of anxiety, there exists a quiet strength which emanates from my faith.

Faith is not the absence of fear but the courage to face it head-on, knowing that I am not alone in my struggles. It's the unwavering belief that there is a greater purpose to what is happening with me.

When my heart is anxious, I turn to faith as my anchor, grounding me in the certainty that I have my husband to depend on, regardless of the storms raging within me. I find solace in prayer, surrendering my fears to a higher power and trusting in the wisdom of divine providence.

What I learn is that it's important to extend grace to myself, acknowledging that it's okay not to have all the answers, to stumble and fall along the way. For faith is not a destination but a journey—a winding path of self-discovery and growth, marked by moments of both triumph and great loss.

May you find peace in the midst of your anxious heart, and may your faith be a beacon of hope in the days ahead.

Praying Psalm 91 helps me a lot when my heart is anxious.

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