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Sunday, November 25, 2007
An Answered Prayer
My sister woke me up from a deep slumber early today because of a phone call. It was a taxing thing to do every morning since the medicines I'm taking make me feel very sleepy. Usually, I would wake up 10 or 11 or else I would feel drowsy the whole day.
However, I opted to fight back sleepiness and answered the call. It's really nothing so I decided to go back dreaming. But the sleep became elusive so I sat down in front of the computer and check email.
Voila! The biggest surprise of the day!
Finally, I received an email answering my inquiry from the assistant director of writing center in one university in New York granting me permission to refer to their website for the book I am currently writing.
It was a humbling moment knowing there are people who are willing to help other people start their dream.
At the same time, that ember of tiny hope in my heart was ignited again into a giant flame of optimistic thinking.
Whilst some of my thoughts are not always happy moments, just the same they are thoughts that make me more appreciative of things like this.
Lit My Heart
The wind was howling as I woke up this morning. However, the bad weather did not dampen the sense of elation in my heart.
It's another day of taking medicines, feeling pang of pain and yet my heart is filled with apparent hope. Could it be because I've finished five pages yesterday for my book? Perhaps the playful bantering of words with my niece? Maybe it's the email full of encouragement from a friend?
For whatever reason, I woke up differently from the previous days. The tapestry of miseries has finally ended. For once, I could feel my heart has been lit up.
Life comprises trials and tribulations. What is important is we continue to live with hope in our heart.
See the stars at night? They will continue to light the tiny hope within me whenever I feel that the world is about to crumble. Life doesn't always have melancholic ending.
Footsteps stealthy on the stair,
Sweet-voiced carols in the air,
Stocking hanging in a row,
My heart believes there's a happy Christmas after all.
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Solitary Trek
It is so natural to declare to the whole world that you love God with all your heart whenever life is going on as planned. But, whenever life beseeched you with uncertainties and you are in constant pain, your faith is being taken into another level.
It's barely three days after I was out of the O.R but it seemed like just an hour ago when I was in agony again.
It was terrible going through the same process of being subjected to constant examination and pain.
Friends and family were there to surround me with love and prayers but the truth remains, I need to take this trudge of misery alone.
The faith resides in my heart but it is the will to see this through that's slowly unwavering.
I continuously seek for my sanctuary where I'll find peace within. Meanwhile, the solitary trek endures...
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Inspirational Articles/ Daily Blog
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It's barely three days after I was out of the O.R but it seemed like just an hour ago when I was in agony again.
It was terrible going through the same process of being subjected to constant examination and pain.
Friends and family were there to surround me with love and prayers but the truth remains, I need to take this trudge of misery alone.
The faith resides in my heart but it is the will to see this through that's slowly unwavering.
I continuously seek for my sanctuary where I'll find peace within. Meanwhile, the solitary trek endures...
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Inspirational Articles/ Daily Blog
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Saturday, November 24, 2007
Different Kind of Christmas
And it seemed I won't have a silent night.
Outside I hear the voices sing the sweetest sounds of caroling.
But, somehow there's a sadness in the song.
In my heart, I know that something's wrong.
It is a bit hard to get up from the bed this morning. I don't know but my heart is heavy. This has been one overwhelming year.
I'm momentarily at a loss on how to deal with this stage of my life. Undeniably, there's an emptiness within.
Six months! That was how long I was braving the odds after my major operation.
My siblings are burdened with the obligations of supporting my needs and that's what makes it doubly terrible. Physical pain is bearable but the knowledge that you are in some way a burden makes it more difficult.
I shouldn't feel this way, I know. Nobody's complaining. But there's something in Christmas spirit that purged me of emotions.
Will I see the light before Christmas? Will I feel again the melody of the Christmas carols?
The buried part of my heart remain positive. I'll see this through until the end. I won't venture again in negative thoughts.
It's a different kind of Christmas in a different kind of world.
Even though it looks the same.
Everything has changed.
It's a different kind of Christmas.
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Friday, November 23, 2007
God, listen to my plea...
God, our Father, speak through me
so all lost souls can plainly see
not my will, but, God I seek
Your words are strong
where mine is weak.
When evil thoughts blocked my way
and giving up seems the only option,
to you God, I seek the wisdom of strength.
God edify my heart to love,
so those that hate can climb above
I know that love it is the key
So this I pray,
show love through me.
So, I say thy will be done. For whatever purpose you brought me here, my willing soul will wait till you summon me.
Holy Spirit, make me wise
feed me knowledge my heart it cries
To understand what I don't know
Please make me wise, so I may grow.
The gift of knowledge you bestowed upon me will be my anchor as I sail life.
Holy Spirit, help me trust
to lean on you, in times I must
my faith will grow each time I do
Please build my trust, my trust in you.
The spellbinding moment where I find myself at the middle of the raging sea and yet my heart is packed with complete abandonment is indeed our greatest time together.
God listen to my plea
fill me up this very day
to have the power with you to be strong
to make things right where they are wrong.
Life has a promise beyond what we could think of. Yet, for some reasons there are times that we are embraced with longing to quit what we have started.
No matter how great or small we feel, we have a giant GOD out there. Inspiring us...pulling us...pushing us...to discover the enchantment of the gift we call, LIFE.
God...thanks for listening.
so all lost souls can plainly see
not my will, but, God I seek
Your words are strong
where mine is weak.
When evil thoughts blocked my way
and giving up seems the only option,
to you God, I seek the wisdom of strength.
God edify my heart to love,
so those that hate can climb above
I know that love it is the key
So this I pray,
show love through me.
So, I say thy will be done. For whatever purpose you brought me here, my willing soul will wait till you summon me.
Holy Spirit, make me wise
feed me knowledge my heart it cries
To understand what I don't know
Please make me wise, so I may grow.
The gift of knowledge you bestowed upon me will be my anchor as I sail life.
Holy Spirit, help me trust
to lean on you, in times I must
my faith will grow each time I do
Please build my trust, my trust in you.
The spellbinding moment where I find myself at the middle of the raging sea and yet my heart is packed with complete abandonment is indeed our greatest time together.
God listen to my plea
fill me up this very day
to have the power with you to be strong
to make things right where they are wrong.
Life has a promise beyond what we could think of. Yet, for some reasons there are times that we are embraced with longing to quit what we have started.
No matter how great or small we feel, we have a giant GOD out there. Inspiring us...pulling us...pushing us...to discover the enchantment of the gift we call, LIFE.
God...thanks for listening.
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