Different Kind of Christmas

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The lights around the Christmas tree don't burn as bright
 

And it seemed I won't have a silent night.


Outside I hear the voices sing the sweetest sounds of caroling.


But, somehow there's a sadness in the song.


In my heart, I know that something's wrong.

It is a bit hard to get up from the bed this morning. I don't know but my heart is heavy. This has been one overwhelming year.

I'm momentarily at a loss on how to deal with this stage of my life. Undeniably, there's an emptiness within.

Six months! That was how long I was braving the odds after my major operation.

My siblings are burdened with the obligations of supporting my needs and that's what makes it doubly terrible. Physical pain is bearable but the knowledge that you are in some way a burden makes it more difficult.

I shouldn't feel this way, I know. Nobody's complaining. But there's something in Christmas spirit that purged me of emotions.

Will I see the light before Christmas? Will I feel again the melody of the Christmas carols?

The buried part of my heart remain positive. I'll see this through until the end. I won't venture again in negative thoughts.

It's a different kind of Christmas 
in a different kind of world.


Even though it looks the same. 


Everything has changed. 


It's a different kind of Christmas.