How People Power Changed Me

I was six years old when I first heard the word people power, too young to fully grasp what it means but the memories poignant that I can still vividly remember.

I knew that it was the day liberty was given back to the people after suffering for a long time from the hands of tyrannical Marcos regime wherein martial law was implemented.

It was in a news magazine, Reporter, which I first saw the pictures of Edsa People Power 1 that toppled the oppressive government of Marcos. Former President Cory Aquino was in the front page surrounded by millions of Filipinos.

Men and women including children from all walks of life filled the streets…soldiers and priests holding hands and nuns clasping tightly their rosaries…all marched for truth and freedom…amidst the threat of bullets to silence the truth. It was the time that Filipinos astounded the whole world with the courage to end a cruel administration thru a peaceful revolution.

It also became the inspiration of the second uprising against government’s suppression of the truth. I was in college when for the first time I joined a peaceful revolt in the street. My fervor to be part of the rally was fueled with anger when again the country was tainted with corruption and never-ending list of dirt in the government.

I have monitored closely the impeachment trial then hoping that the truth would come out about the alleged ill- gotten wealth of former President Joseph Estrada. My idealism with regard to the system was ruined when the law makers themselves tried to hide the truth.

The envelope containing the evidences against him was forever sealed when his allies voted not to open it. It was the start of rebellion that ousted him from office. It was a sweet victory knowing that I became part of history which freed Juan Dela Cruz from that kind of leadership.

Many years later, Estrada was arrested and imprisoned (house arrest in a comfortable house) and not long after his life sentence for plunder, he was granted presidential pardon. Now, is that what we call justice? You tell me…

On February 26, the country will commemorate the 22nd anniversary of Edsa People Power 1. A very long time since freedom was reclaimed…

Apparently, with the current situation now of the country, Filipinos are in turmoil again…for the umpteenth times. The administration is facing numerous scandals which many are predicting would be the end of Arroyo government.

As the whole country venerate the time of liberation from the iron hand of Marcos regime, many are plotting the People Power 3. Another revolt to topple the present government…

Freedom and unity has been the main theme of the People Power 1 while healing was given emphasis in the People Power 2. If indeed the plan to overthrow the current regime succeeds, what would be the focus?

Healing, I believe should begin with freedom and unity. With the turmoil we are facing now it’s obvious that we were never healed with the wounds of the past. It continued to haunt us which disintegrates our hope for change.

How then can we make the remnants of the past become the hope of our future? How many revolts more do we need for us to learn? Do we need to have the third people power? Or maybe fourth? Fifth? Endless search for peace and truth…

I am no longer the innocent six-year-old kid during the Edsa People Power 1. I’ve grown and have been a silent witness of how leaders governed the political arena. I am 28 and my idealism was contaminated with corruption, bribery, and countless filth by the system…hope for change is still elusive but my love for my country remains.

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Unwanted Angels

Cradling his tiny body, caressing his soft skin, watching his first step, and singing lullabies as he lays asleep…the profound joy of motherhood.

Every woman’s dream is to have her own progeny- the real essence of being in existence. A small being wrapped in untold elation that enfolds the heart of a mother…

Those innocent smiles enough to lit up a house, the invisible halos that touched the deepest core of a mother’s soul are just some of a woman’s reverie.

Yet, it’s a paradox how an angel could be referred to as “unwanted”. The innocent beings who are supposed to be gifts from above turned out a burden and a dilemma.

I cringe whenever I watch news about babies thrown like a piece of garbage in the trash can. There was this fetus found in the pile of rubbish, a baby left in a corner of a church, a little girl killed by her own father, and other endless stories of cruelty to children.

They are called as “unwanted” when their moms are unwed before birth or when the family is too large that having them means additional mouth to feed. They are unplanned and therefore unwelcome.

Some are lucky enough to finish the ninth month in their mother’s womb. Others are not and lives were taken even before those tiny limbs and hearts developed. Their moan of anguished inside were silence with a piece of instrument.

Their death served as a catalyst of survival for those young mothers who are ill-equipped for “unwanted” babies.

As these people made an evil scheme of ending the innocent life of their own flesh and blood, are they aware that there are souls out there praying and hoping for them to have their own angels yet incapacitated to do so?

It’s ironic that those who can afford and are educated enough to give a good future to their children are also those who are not lucky enough to be given their own gift.

Life is a mystery that one should continue to unravel everyday. There’s a reason and a purpose for everything…

Could it be that a tiny soul is somewhere out there hoping and praying to be saved by a stranger’s maternal heart because his own mother can not do it for him?

As I said it’s a mystery…one that I intend to find out as I continue my journey… 

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The Beauty of Suffering

"When agony flood thy soul, look up and let the sun rays cleanse your whole being"

The rain fell in a ceaseless bone- jarring torrent. The deafening sound muffled my weeping as I allowed my grief-stricken heart bled through my tears. I was consumed with deep lamentation as I thought of my future- immediate death or long excruciating death. 

Sorrow, fear, dread, anguish, and blinding pain emotionally and physically rocked my body with helplessness as huge rivulet of tears cascaded on my face. My hope, faith and happiness experienced a grand avalanche.

 I felt so small and vulnerable as I gritted my teeth and clasped my hands to try to hold on. Until finally, I stopped… not because I felt better but because none were left to shed anymore. My heart ached with unfathomable emptiness as I fell in bottomless dark hollow of loneliness...



It was the time I suffered SUFFERING.

Years passed after that fateful afternoon. Due to my weak condition, the road to recovery was long and arduous- almost like a miracle.

Time crept by and slowly; I had recuperated. It’s still a wonder how I survived that ordeal. Staring at my scars brought by my illness filled me with wonder how I made it through the yonder desolate chasm of the cruel storm that beseeched my way.

The blemishes on my body seemed like a badge of valour for the courage that gave me the will to survive. The wound in my heart whence life’s sweetness reside was finally healed.

Suffering is an emotional state accompanied by negative emotions and severe pain. It usually threatens one’s sanity and without justice causes irreparable injury.

A famous Philosopher once said, “Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind.”

What is the beauty of suffering?

As for me, the beauty of suffering was affirmed later on after wrestling with gut- wrenching pain good things came my way and finally, I unwrapped the gift of joy.

It was that unexplainable feeling as I woke up each morning suffused with a new dawn of hope. From its vine, the kindling of bliss sprouted.

It was finally falling asleep without fear, filled with faith that when tomorrow comes, I would still be able to feel the scorching heat of the sun on my skin, to touch the mist of the budding flowers, and to look up at the vast horizon of skies.

Character could not be developed without any complexity. Only through occurrence of suffering and experiencing it in full we can be healed. The upturn felt being enfolded like a plaintive song, the source unknown yet the comfort potent.

The most salient message of suffering is when the purpose is finally articulated. When the realization hit that even the gravest of all afflictions has its reason.

I have suffered through long losing streak of endless cruel jokes but the beauty of it finally enfolded my heart. The purpose was finally uttered to me…that with the permanent scars I have endured I will be an inspiration to those who fell but could not find the courage to stand.

Fight. 

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The Saddest Poem

Inexplicable dejection hugs thy blissful spirit 

Something intense gape a void, it cries out 

A longing? A yearning? A profound hunger? 

My heart was cradled in an empty space. 

A need so immense eyes filled with glumness 

Days become breathless with reminiscences 

Love songs bring sweet tears of wishes 

In dreams, warmth of breath the soul was comforted.

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The Weather and Politics

The wind was howling the whole day as if there’s a typhoon brewing. There’s not much difference really with the current situation in the political arena of the country. A storm is looming that could either damage or totally wrecked the Arroyo administration.

For the past few days, the news has been dominated with the controversy of the ZTE Broadband deal. Left and right allegations were made by star witness Jun Lozada after his supposedly abduction from the airport.

The scenario now was similar before former President Estrada was finally ousted from the office several years ago. I was still in college back then when protests from all walks of life were organized including that of Religious sectors. It was a havoc that rooted from corruption and greed.

The ZTE Broadband deal has created such a chaos which I’m sure even the president herself did not foresee.

It was months ago when an expose’ was made in the newspaper of the allegedly over priced national broadband deal. Big names of politicians and government officials got messed up including that of the first couple.

Kickbacks, bribery and cover-ups tainted names and even forced Comelec Chairman Benjamin Abalos to resign and the closest ally of the president, Cong. Jose De Venecia to withdraw his support from the government. His son, Joey De Venecia told the public that the first gentleman threatened him to “back off” from the deal.

It quieted down for a moment but got fueled up again when Jun Lozada emerged after being silent for such a long time shedding some light about the mystery surrounding the said multi-million-dollar deal.

It’s a sobering discovery that Juan Dela Cruz’ hard-earned money will end up paying international debts because of over- priced deals like this. Where is our country heading again?

With mass actions out there in the streets shouting for truth and accountability, what future awaits us?

Investigations are going on in the Senate and Ombudsman and soon DOJ will also launch their own inquiry. But, until when are we going to be besieged with this hullabaloo?

I admire Jun Lozada’s courage to speak of the truth even if it means putting the name of his close friend, Sec. Neri, in trouble. According to him, Neri called the president “evil”. Neri did not deny nor confirm this statement during the press con called by Malacañang palace.

Lozada’s sincerity was questioned by some because as they say it seems so theatrical. From the melodramatic entrance in the arena with the aid of brothers and nuns from La Salle and the endless burst of crying for the whole country to see seemed like so unprecedented.

Just something to ponder, how can he afford being a member of the golf club which according to the media the playing rights alone costs 325, 000 already?

Are we going to have the Edsa Power again for the umpteenth times? Is Jun Lozada a real hero or just a pawn of the political war of those in power?

I wish him good luck and may he find the strength to continue this fight. After all, this is not his sole battle but of the whole country seeking for truth and accountability.

A message to all government officials guilty of corruption, moderate your greed. 

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