10 Best Ways to Deal with Online Stress

There is no doubt about it. Time has changed. Birth and death are documented by Facebook posts. Every day of our life is seen largely online and you may not even be aware of it, but the emotional chaos is probably starting to eat you. Noticeably, visiting comment section of news articles or posts is probably enough to give you a heart attack. There is the presence of vicious words and radical views are expressed without regard to the feeling of others. In fact, one of the surveys conducted by Harris Poll revealed that political and cultural discussions on social media cause stress to nearly 4 in 10 adults.

The source of stress may not be directly correlated only to the opposing views posted on social media but there is also this undeniable alluring presence of travel abroad pictures, proud posts about new boyfriend/ girlfriend, marriage or new houses which create this longing and desire to achieve the same. These pictures used to belong in the family photo albums but nowadays, they are broadcasted all over Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and other social media accounts. Even gruesome killing and beating can be live already! A quick look at Facebook would give us a glimpse of how chaotic the online world has become thus resulting to higher stress level according to different studies.

It is time to look for survival tips and here are the best ways to handle online stress.

1. Uproot the cause. Some people can be very strong about their opinion and will not have any qualms to express it. Not just once, twice or thrice. As if there’s an endless hit button, posts ridiculing your views and beliefs are all over your Facebook. Depending on the social media you are using, various options are available for you. You may not want to delete that person as a friend but there is always the option to unfollow him/ her. You can report the post as well and the appearance of the similar posts will be lessened on your timeline.

2. Don’t fall as a bait to online fake news. Fake news is everywhere. Don’t let yourself fall into a trap. Sometimes we feel so badly about something which is not even true! Don’t fall for those spam or fake news which were fabricated to lure clicks and generate more money.

3. Express your opinion with no expectations. Chances are, your belief will always be different from the rest of your Facebook friends. However, you have the right to express your opinion. Just don’t expect that your belief will be reciprocated. Expectations will lead to heartache and then stress.

4. Remind yourself, ‘You can’t change anyone.’ Ever wish and hope people would grow up? Well, you can’t change them. When you read posts of your friend or family whining about something, it gets into you and it is normal. But, remind yourself that you can’t change anyone. You may be boiling inside and fire off heated arguments but the thing is, YOU CAN’T CHANGE ANYONE.

5. Choose your battle. Commenting on something means opening yourself for the possible attack. If you do this, make sure that you have braced yourself for the painful hurl of vindictive words. There are probably issues that you feel so strongly about and you may not be able to help but comment on it. But, don’t get into every issue because sooner or later, it will take its toll on you. You can’t just fight it all!

6. Realize that you can’t have everything. The extravagant lifestyle of others may not be for you. You can always opt to unfollow when the stress of looking at the vacation photos or new gadgets of your friends and family gets too much. The thing is, you just can’t have it all. It’s fine to accept the reality that you may not be so happy with regard to the fortune of others but it does not mean that you will be stressing yourself with wanting to have the same so you can brag about it on Facebook.

7. Keep your account private. Some people just simply enjoy the pleasure of picking fights. Keeping your account private is one way of shielding yourself from the unwanted visitors of your account. Some friends and family may still be considerate of your feelings and may choose not to comment against you but not the strangers just lurking around to look for a fight. Protect yourself by making sure your setting is on private and only ‘Friends’ can see everything you post.

8. Think before you click. Majority of the cause of online stress is of posts that went wrong. Think of an angry wife who derides her husband on Facebook and ended up completely wrecking the relationship. If you have thousand friends or followers, think how fast a post can spread and make it viral.

9. Take a deep breath. Come on. Spending hours in front of your social media accounts or constantly checking your Facebook on the phone can be suffocating at times. Take a deep breath and let all the negativities go out of your system.

10. Give yourself a break. When you think that you can’t handle it anymore, give yourself a break. Yes, the quickest way is to simply run away from it. Take a day off from your Facebook or Twitter and relieve yourself from the source of your stress.

At the end of it all, don’t say something that you will regret forever. Don’t sacrifice relationship with your friends and family just because of opposing views. Most importantly, don’t subject yourself with unwarranted stress. Spread love not hate. The world has already too much of it. 

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8 Reasons to Fall in Love with Indonesia as an Expat

April 23, 2013, I took a giant leap of faith and flew as an expat to the country I knew nothing about-Indonesia. The country which became my home for almost four years will always have a special part in my heart. It was an amazing experience meeting the best teachers in different fields!

Here are some of the reasons why I have fallen in love with Indonesia.

Borobudur, or Barabudur is a 9th-century Mahayana Buddhist temple in Magelang, Central Java, Indonesia, as well as the world's largest Buddhist temple, and also one of the greatest Buddhist monuments in the world.

1. Kind, Hospitable and Generous People-
Upon arrival in the airport, you will be greeted with their signature slight bow and the words, “Selamat datang di Indonesia.” The same gesture of respect is experienced when you visit malls or different places. It is also customary for Indonesians to shake hands as they welcome you. When you visit stores especially if you are staying for a while, they always have this bottled water prepared for you. I remember that the first time I visited the school, the director gave me her own food (fried chicken and rice) when she found out that I didn’t like those with spices and too much flavor. Their first class hospitality became clearer to me when I stayed during holiday with an Indonesian family. They treated me like their own family and showered me not just with kindness but with respect as well. 

2. Salary- The salary is definitely enough to live a comfortable life. As a matter of fact, it is normal for most teachers and their family to have vacation in their native country twice a year- Christmas and end of the school year. The salary is enough for most of them to travel in nearby countries such as Thailand, Malaysia and Singapore. Others even travel to Japan, Korea, Australia and United States. What I love about Indonesia is that your starting salary is based on your educational qualifications, experience and capabilities diminishing the ‘seniority’ rules in determining the salary.

With my husband at MONAS. 

3. Picturesque Sceneries- With about 17, 500 outlandish islands, there are many places to explore. It is usual for many teachers to spend long weekends visiting picturesque sceneries. There are wild, untamed travels if you belong to the adventurous souls. There are also multi-colored lakes, hot spring, active volcanoes and long list of pristine beaches with crystal clear water. Some of my former co-teachers with different nationalities love scuba diving, snorkeling and hiking. You can also immerse yourself with their unique culture while enjoying scenic natural resources. If you are having a wearying day in school, a trip to Monas might just be the solution. The 433 ft. tower in the center of Jakarta boasts the top with plinth of stone where a bronze torch stands weighing up to 14.5 tons coated with 35 kg of gold plate.

Taman Bunga with friends. 

4. Deluxe Housing Plan- Schools in Indonesia offer lucrative housing plan. In fact, most of the apartments are located just beside giant luxury malls.

Greenbay apartment with a mall right beside it. A perfect haven for a demanding work at school and home to many expats.

Central Park residence also houses some of Indonesia's Expat. 

5. Professional Development- The learning opportunity for teachers is countless. It is common to have speakers in the seminars from UK, Singapore and other countries. It is the best training ground as well because you will learn other curriculum widely accepted in the world such as Cambridge, IB, and School of Tomorrow/ACE. Teachers are also given the prospect of traveling through International competitions and activities like World Scholar’s Cup which allowed one of my friends to travel and compete in United States. There is also the Reach Cambridge which may be your chance to travel to UK. The Harvard Model Congress Asia (HMCA) which is a global conference where international high school students learn and experience government while playing the roles of officials in the United States government and several international political bodies may be another way for you to explore other countries.

One team, different nationalities- Americans, Singaporean, Canadian and Filipinos. 

6. Unique Diversity Experience- On my first day in Indonesia, I was in the lift with a Chinese, an American and an Indian. That was just a glimpse of the kind of diversity I experienced in that country. I lived in the same house with a Canadian, two Chinese teachers, and Filipinos on my first year of teaching. I learned various cultures through daily personal interactions with people who came from different parts of the world. Imagine yourself in a Teacher’s office surrounded with Canadian, Indian, American, Singaporean, Malays, Mauritian, and of course Filipinos speaking their own languages. There are differences but to have a glimpse of other country’s culture is definitely a wonderful experience.

Nasi goreng 

7. Authentic Asian Food- Indonesia is home to some of the best Asian cuisines. Variety of seafood gastronomy is available in different restaurants. Indonesia has about 5, 350 traditional recipes. Their famous rendang, nasi goreng and satay are included in World’s Most Delicious Foods.

Taman Anggrek mall in Jakarta, Indonesia. 

8. 100 Plus Malls right in Jakarta- Of course, the demand of school works can always be exhausting. However, malls of different sizes and class is of your choice. Sometimes you just need to cross a road and you will be in a different mall. Your perfect getaway from the hustle and bustle of the endless school works is just around the corner.

Above all the perks and privileges, what matters the most is actually the beautiful experience of imparting knowledge and immersing oneself in unique culture and traditions of Indonesia. It is falling in love repeatedly with the humility and generosity of the people and embracing the little things that make this country a second home to expats from all around the world.

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I Got a New Job!

http://www.sylvanlearning.com

Starting anew can be quite scary. This is especially true when you are starting thousand miles away from your home for decades and you need to untangle yourself from things you got used to. However, there is always an assurance that I am not circumscribed by the past. I am free to define what I want to happen in the future. Whatever I have achieved before, I can work hard to attain the same feats even if I need to start from scratch.

Finally, after more than two months, I received my SSS card last Wednesday and it means, I could look for a job. Immediately, I sent an application online and after an hour, I got a call for an interview. I had flu after that so I never really had any time to worry or thought about it.

The meeting with the program coordinator last Monday reminded me of what I love about teaching. Her questions brought me into reminiscences of the past and affirming that what I worked hard for was not in vain (I am writing a different blog about this). I was told that by the end of this week, I would hear from them once they’re done interviewing the other applicants.

A day after my interview, I received the call confirming I got the job. And this morning, I signed everything including stacks of tax papers. It may not be as lucrative as the job that I had before but it is a really good start. After all, every single journey that I have embarked on, I’ve always learned something new. That makes the journey more special!

So, yay to the good news! I got my first job here in the US!

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Beauty, Intelligence and Respect

I love Facebook. It is probably one of the attestations that the world has evolved into completely new paradigm socially, economically and politically. However, I cringe in disappointment whenever I encounter posts that hurl vicious words against an individual. Sadly, when it comes to intellectual discourse some people opt to stoop to the lowest level of character assassination and using spiteful words instead of addressing and discussing the real issues and suggesting solutions.

Maxine Medina’s rise to fame is glumly not just because she is representing the Philippines in the Miss Universe pageant but because of the circulation of her videos answering questions. Her beauty and confidence are clearly manifested the way she projects herself on camera. However, thousands of comments ruthlessly attacked the way she answered the questions. I understand.

The beauty queen has distinctly a problem with expressing her thoughts in English. Nonetheless, stooping down to the level of insulting her complete being will never be justified. Calling her names does not address the real issue. It is not her problem that she won the title to represent the Philippines. Yes, she has the responsibilities to ensure that the country is well represented during the contest, but it should not come at the expense of insults and totally being disrespected in the process. Judging from what her coaches stated, she worked hard to improve. There were many beauty queens who won the title using their native language. Most importantly, you cannot judge a person’s intelligence solely on how she answers one or two questions orally.

Some of us have become callous individuals who prey on the weakness of others. Let us bear in mind what Berg once said, “Words are singularly the most powerful force available to humanity. We can choose to use this force constructively with words of encouragement, or destructively using words of despair. Words have energy and power with the ability to help, to heal, to hinder, to hurt, to harm, to humiliate and to humble.” Or in this case, to show respect.

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10 Amazing Michigan Discoveries/ Experiences

Generally, everything I knew about United States either came from International news agencies or Hollywood movies so to actually live here after being in two tropical countries is definitely a remarkable experience. Here are some of my amazing discoveries/experiences in more than two months that I have been here.

1. Sun, snow, wind, and rain can all come in the same day. Weather forecast is particularly important before you start your day. There are days I would wake up that the sun is so bright but before long, snow starts to fall. After a while, you would feel the chilly wind then the snow turns into rain. Not necessarily in that order. Sometimes you wake up that it’s snowing so heavily then suddenly the sun is shining brightly. Whatever you do or are planning to do, tune in for weather updates.

2. Cars in the ditch are normal. Well, at least during winter. I remember traveling with my husband going to Kalamazoo during a really heavy snowfall and seeing cars in the ditch and even witnessing the cars slide then helplessly skid at the side of the road. My husband always tells me, if you live in Michigan, you need a Dodge Ram.

3. Grace before meals. The first time we were invited for a dinner with my husband’s family, I was surprised when they held hands then started praying together. Then the following week, we were invited for a dinner again by a family friend and they did the same thing. Several invitations after that, the same thing happened. They do pray even in restaurants. I feel so sorry and naïve but news in International agencies has always something to do with mass shootings and Hollywood movies are not the best portrayal either. It is an important realization that not everything you watch or read is what it seems in real life.

4. Everything is instant. When I was in the Philippines, I needed to measure the flour, baking soda, butter, and other ingredients in baking. When my husband asked me to bake a cake for him, I opened the box with ready to bake cake, added eggs and water, mixed them all, then put in the oven. Then I made cookies by simply opening the box and arranged the cookie dough on the tray then baked. Want rice? Half-cooked rice which is ready in five minutes are available, too. The best is corned beef which is my favorite. Where I came from, you need to cut potatoes by strips if you want it mixed with your corned beef. Here, you open the can and voila, corned beef with potatoes ready to eat.

5. Almost everything is big. Imagine a 24-ounce steak in a single meal or an eggplant three times bigger than ours in the Philippines. In short, the serving is big. And I mean enormous. My eyes grew big whenever they bring my order in a restaurant. You will know what I mean about the difference when you visit MacDonald’s Philippines and here.

6. Eating ice cream while everywhere is covered with snow.

In fact, there is an ice cream place right around the town where we live. Even if it is snowing heavily outside, my husband has an ice cream stocked in the fridge. We could be shivering outside of Meijer or Walmart but we don’t forget to grab an ice cream when we get inside.

7. They love football. The first time I watched football, my husband’s sister explained the rules to me. But, that wasn’t what amazed me but the fact that families came together and we were out seated on a freezing bench and we had a lot of fun. They love football so much that the next time we watched it, we drove to Detroit which is more than three hours from where we live. Another three hours going back home at the middle of the night. After watching only twice, I have fallen in love with it hook, line and sinker. 

8. Nice people especially neighbors. I lived in three places in the Philippines and several in Indonesia before moving here. I have never experienced a neighbor coming over to welcome me and bringing me cookies. The next day, they brought me chicken pie and reminded me that whatever I need, I can always go to their place. In addition, everyone I met so far has been really kind and welcoming. I have never met these many people in a short time who can be so warm and kind to a stranger like me.

I've talked to her on the phone before coming here. She works in one of the stores 

where my husband buys his sandwich. 

They were amazed that I'm finally here after two years of processing papers and listening to my husband talked to me on the phone. 

9. Traffic is almost non-existent. Whenever the traffic light turns red and there are about three cars in front of us, my husband would joke that traffic jam is so bad. From where I came from, traffic jam is a daily occurrence and something that you need to endure wherever you go out. It’s amazing that everybody here has more than one car but there is no problem with traffic. No wonder there is such thing as American time. They don’t need to deal with traffic jam.

10. Lastly, the place is stunningly beautiful. In fact, I am in a complete awe that a place like this exists. I came right around fall and the color of the trees was amazing. I lost myself in trance soaking with the beauty all around me. My husband brought me near the lake where you can gaze at beautiful big birds. It was so surreal being so near with them. He also brought me in another lake where the sunset was so beautiful and the sound of the waves was like music to the ears. It was truly a magical experience. I will never forget also the first time I experienced looking all around seeing nothing but white while the snow falls and listening to Christmas song. There is just simply no words to describe the experience.

Fall is so beautiful! 

My first time to ride a four-wheelers. It was awesome! 

Sunsets are so beautiful in Michigan. 

In one of Time magazine’s best books, In Arabian Nights: A Caravan of Moroccan Dreams, Tahir Shah wrote that, “Settling into a new country is like getting used to a new pair of shoes. At first they pinch a little, but you like the way they look, so you carry on. The longer you have them, the more comfortable they become. Until one day without realizing it you reach a glorious plateau. Wearing those shoes is like wearing no shoes at all. The more scuffed they get, the more you love them and the more you can't imagine life without them.”

My husband once asked me what my thoughts were when I was in the plane on the way here. At first I was scared, but, there was nothing that I wanted but to live a life with him. So, I jumped out of my comfort zone- a familiar place, a stable job, friends and family left behind, and finally realized how blessed I am living in a new place I call HOME.

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Lost and Found After 23 Years

I often wondered how Facebook and other social media enable people to reconnect with their long-lost friends and families. Much more amazing is the fact that the same platform also facilitated reunion of misplaced belongings to their owners even after years of losing it. The story of my husband and how he got back his class ring through Facebook was totally mind-blowing.

Early last week, he mentioned something about his class ring which I just simply shrugged off since I never really saw it. Initially, he thought that he lost it for 25 years then realized it was only 23 years. Then after several days, he received a message from somebody.

My husband decided to cancel most of our appointments that Sunday and we just stayed home after church to make sure we didn’t miss it. However, around 7 p.m., he started getting disappointed that he did not hear anything back from him. Around 8 p.m., he received the message telling him to check our mailbox. Finally, after 23 years, my husband was finally able to hold again the ring he lost for 23 years!

You see, there are still good people out there who are willing to do something honorable without asking anything in return. Buried under snow 23 years ago and finally found it through Facebook!

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The Best Student's Letter for a Teacher

I was going through my files trying to organize them when I saw this letter of my former student. I remember getting teary-eyed when I got this from my email. It's a beautiful feeling being a teacher. One that I will treasure for the rest of my life. Sharing this as an inspiration to all teachers who work so hard out there. Everything you do is not in vain. Believe it or not, these kids, as raucous as they may seem will always have that gratitude in their hearts.

"Real education should educate us out of self into something far finer; into a selflessness which links us with all humanity."
-- Lady Nancy Astor


Dear Ms. Nina Buena-Nichols,

I am writing in the format you have taught me for the whole year last year. My English may not be perfect but I can say that my English has improved due to your endless effort to teach me. Although you are no longer my teacher, but as what I wrote in my bucket list I will always remember who you are.

Firstly, thank you for being my teacher, mother and also a friend. At first, I admit that I was not used to your teaching styles as it was still new to me. I complained a little bit, especially when you assigned us journals. I have now understood that the journal was really essential to be able to communicate to you without feeling shy or scared. Now that we aren’t required to write journals, I missed writing them. Quoting my mom, we won’t be able to appreciate something we never lost. Not to forget your speeches, it contains a lot of good lessons we need growing up. In English, you were the one who told me what I need to improve and what I need to keep up. You have helped me grow not only academically but also as a person.

Secondly, you were always so caring to our class. You would interfere with our problems as if it were yours although you have nothing to do with it. You have exceeded your duty as our form teacher by giving us extra care. When you helped us talk to the different subject teachers to adjust our schedules. I remember those times when you used to always call my name every lesson and I would complain. I know those comments were necessary to remind me to control myself. I would always have your voice in my head reminding myself to behave. We have been through a lot of fun and problems as a class. Although we are all still in one class now, it would never be the same without you.

Lastly, I would like to wish you a very happy life with your husband. I hope you can have the family you always wanted and with you experience in teaching us you will be an excellent mother. I pray that you can be healthy and happy forever. I hope all of us will get a chance to meet you again before you go to Michigan.

As you said, “You may forget me as a teacher, but I hope you remember the lessons I have taught you.” Don't worry miss, not only will we remember your lessons, we will remember that there is no better teacher we could ever ask for. Before I sign off, I know you almost cried reading this miss. I know it’s too good. hahaha.

I wish you nothing but the best !!!

Your “bestest” student,
M

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Psalm 91 Testimony (Featured in the book of Dr. Chitra Soetoyo)

It was when I became a member of ESIS family that my relationship with God significantly deepened by memorizing and internalizing Bible verses. It was like learning how to walk, at times I grappled but soon enough, reciting verses became part of my daily life helping me to lead a more meaningful life.

When I first heard Psalm 91, I was amazed by the different testimonies of the students how it helped them when they were in dire need. It never occurred to me that one day, I would be needing it as well.

It was early morning when I left home that fateful day hoping to be at the meeting place that my friends and I agreed. We were planning to jog in a famous place in Jakarta (Ancol) and see the beauty of sunrise so we decided to make it the earliest possible. It was around 5:15 when I left home and I was greeted with stark darkness. The guard was nowhere to be seen so I just locked the gate and continued walking to look for a taxi. I was a bit inattentive with my surroundings since I never had any bad experience before in this country. Though it was dark, I was not bothered at all.

I was fixing my sweater when I suddenly felt the presence of somebody near me. I was momentarily taken aback when I saw a man on a bicycle looking at me. He said something in Bahasa angrily but I did not understand it. My heart started beating so fast the way he was pointing at my bag. Out of fear, I said something in Filipino and the man looked at me quite baffled. The moment his gaze locked on mine, I immediately started reciting Psalm 91. I had this split second to decide what to do, run or face him. Other neighbors have security guards as well but I didn't see anyone. It was still dark and I knew I was alone. I ran as fast as I could while reciting Psalm 91. The man could have easily followed me, but he was left quite perplexed also how I reacted. When I was reciting Psalm 91, I struggled to remember the words since I was so scared. Repeatedly, I have recited these lines, I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”

The man could have easily followed me since he had a bicycle. However, when I looked back, he was frozen where he was standing. Thankfully, I was able to hail a taxi fast enough when I reached the main road.

In retrospect, we have no control of the situations that we may be facing in the future. But, the giant leap with my spiritual belief helped me to surrender my complete faith in Him knowing that He is ALWAYS in control.

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The Story of Us

26 hours of flight for the first time in his life! 

My husband and I made a promise that one day, we would share our story of love, sacrifices and faith. We hoped that this story would be an inspiration and source of strength to those who have waited and are continuously waiting for the love of their life. Ours is not a conventional love story and there’s definitely nothing conventional surpassing the difficulty of being far from each other for more than 700 days, dealing with more or less 4,800 hours of phone/video calls, exchanging about 18,000 messages, and completing countless paper works.

The Beginning 

February 2015 when David did the unthinkable. He flew for 26 hours to marry me. That was his first flight ever at the age of 42! Five days after our wedding, my husband left me in Jakarta so I could finish my job contract. April 2015 when he filed for my petition and we were optimistic that the processing of my papers would be completed by the time my working visa expired. But, things didn’t work out the way we planned it. After a few months of waiting, I signed one-year contract in another school reconciled with the knowledge that it would take longer than what we were hoping for.

Wedding reception at Kristal Hotel in Jakarta. 

We only booked this hotel the night before our wedding. 

It took about seven months before my husband was able to visit again in Jakarta. That was October 2015 and there was still no update of my papers and we were starting to worry. On the second morning of his visit, I checked my email and read the good news. The petition was approved! We hugged each other teary-eyed thinking that the end was finally in sight. Or so we thought. The approval was just actually the start of an even longer journey of completing all the papers to be submitted to another government agency, the National Visa Center.

Keeping the Faith

After dealing with US embassy and Philippine embassy in Jakarta, government of Indonesia, and different US agencies, we finally submitted all the documents (about 200 pages in all) by March 2016. However, when we were finally notified after 60 days, I was informed that I needed to submit more papers.

My husband's third visit in Jakarta during my birthday. 

Though I was scared with the delay, my husband was confident my schedule for interview would be soon. End of the school year was fast approaching and there was still nothing or confirmation that all my documents were approved. June 2016 when my contract ended. Thankfully, I was given grace period to extend the use of my visa until I finished my interview in the US embassy.

May 28, 2016 celebrating my birthday after 26 hours of flight. 

Dealing with more Setbacks
First week of September when I had my interview. My medical result was perfect and contrary to what I braced myself for, the questions were fairly easy to answer and the Consular officer was actually so kind and obviously convinced our relationship was genuine. However, more papers were requested and she assured me that it was normally required from immigrants. When she told me it would take another 2-3 weeks to process it, I was simply flabbergasted. My husband was equally dumbfounded but he continued to show positive disposition amidst the setbacks we were going through.

Since the papers would be coming back from my husband, that alone would entail another 2-3 weeks to process. There was no way I could stay that long in Jakarta without my visa. We decided that I would wait in the Philippines and my friends in Jakarta would continue the needed processing. September 17, 2016 when I left Jakarta convinced that I wouldn’t need to go back since I didn’t need to appear again in US embassy.

With people close to my heart during my flight going back to the Philippines. 

With my friends in Jakarta who helped me in so many ways. 

For more than two months after my job contract ended, we waited anxiously for the schedule of my interview. I got busy trying to comply with the vaccines required. One night while burning with fever and swollen arms because of the vaccine, I was told by the agency that I needed to pay the apartment for one year or they would not renew my contract for the current month. I only needed 1-2 months so my friend and I tried looking for a new one but almost all agencies preferred to rent their apartments for one year. Thankfully, I have good friends who invited me to stay with them while I was waiting for my interview. I packed all my things by myself in one day with swollen arms and broken spirit.

During the course of the waiting, my husband and I tried to be strong and put our faith that everything would be alright. We lost count of the times we were asked what was taking so long. He got teased that I’m just his imaginary wife and I got incredulous look for resigning with my job uncertain when I would finally be able to leave Jakarta.

Faith Amidst Adversity
It was only when we’re on the phone talking that we get comfort with the love we have for each other. We continued doing what we have started since we got married and that’s reading Daily Bread. He would also patiently read to me, ‘The Purpose Driven Life’, and I would read to him Bible verses. It did not totally vanish the frustrations, the longing, and sometimes the helplessness that we were going through, but, it helped us day by day as we continued to hope that our waiting would be over soon.

When I received the schedule for my interview, I just couldn’t wait for it to be over with. It was almost August and I had no job since June bringing me on the brink of madness. Finally, I had the schedule of my medical prior with my interview. The night before my doctor’s appointment, I knew I was not in shape to have it. I was not feeling so well and I was having on and off fever. But, canceling it was out of the question since I needed to bring the medical papers for the interview.

While waiting for the result, my husband and I would end up crying while we were talking so overwhelmed with frustrations and helplessness. I knew he was trying to comfort me but he was so despondent as well with all the anxiety of delays.

When I left, my husband already sent the needed documents. I had no idea if our love was really being tested but what were the odds that the documents would be lost? The tracking number was proven to be useless because all they could tell us was it’s probably being held in Jakarta customs. I was in the Philippines with no way to personally follow-up but, thanks to some friends who called several offices to track the documents. Meanwhile, my husband and I decided to fill-up new documents and again, he needed to make a pile of endless paper works as supporting documents. This with the help of friends who patiently stayed by his side while we were going through that difficult moment.

Lost in the Dark
While waiting, I knew that my husband who prided himself for his strength and faith, was starting to crumble in pieces. He refused to go out except for work and even excused himself from going to church. We would find ourselves both in tears while talking, scared that we might need to wait longer or worst start the process all over again. The last papers required would be the defining moment if my case would be approved.

Light after the Dark On October 4, the document was submitted by my friends in the US embassy and on the same day he sent it, the first one sent by my husband which was lost in Jakarta customs was finally delivered as well. During that time, my husband was almost constantly sick and feeling nauseous and we would usually end our time talking on the phone in tears. I was too scared to check the status of my visa but on October 9, I finally did. The status says that my visa was issued and printed on October 7.

Well, we were hoping that there would be no more glitches but I think we celebrated so soon. My passport was picked up by a friend on October 18 because he was out of town and the working visa of the other one I authorized was currently being processed. My husband was so excited that he got a pumpkin and was even more excited that he was already planning to visit haunted houses just in time for Halloween. He was so sure that I would be there by October 25.

I followed closely my document using the tracking number. I was expecting it to be delivered by October 21 since it stated 3-4 business days. On the day that I was hoping it would come, I saw in the tracking site that the expected delivery was October 28. However, by 4 p.m. on October 21, DHL delivered my documents. The previously stated expected delivery date was a system error. I was so happy but another unexpected thing happened.

My passport number printed on my visa was wrong. I started asking my friends who were also issued US visa. They were all convincing me it was impossible that they would have a mistake in a US visa. But, there was this nagging feeling inside me something was wrong with my visa and I knew there would be a problem in the immigration if it’s not corrected. When my husband learned about it, he suddenly became so quiet and before I knew it, he was crying. We have waited for so long and my visa had a mistake! The pumpkin and my husband needed to wait yet again.

Back to Jakarta
Upon contacting US embassy in Jakarta, I flew back there on October 30. I arrived 2 a.m. of October 31, returned my passport the same day in the embassy at 1 p.m. then claimed it the next day. Again, what were the odds that it would be raining so hard on that day that I needed to tread in an ankle-deep flood water in front of the embassy? I needed to wrap my immigrant visa packet and passport in plastic bag, then bought a disposable plastic coat just to protect all the documents while I was walking on a knee-high flood water!

My husband couldn’t book yet my ticket because I needed to make sure that I didn’t need to attend the seminar similar to the one they offer in the Philippines for immigrants. There was a huge demonstration with thousands of protesters set on Friday that week in Jakarta and there was news of it getting out of hand so my husband was insistent that I needed to fly out of Jakarta before Friday.

Finally, on November 2, we knew for sure that my husband could book my ticket without a problem. If I wanted to be out of Jakarta by Friday to avoid the rally, I needed to leave the following day. I started packing again my things hoping that by the time I woke up, my flight would be booked. At 1:00 a.m. on November 3, my husband called me and told me that tickets were almost triple the price and I needed to try booking it online. I checked and immediately booked one. I told my husband I did it and my flight would be at 5:00 p.m. the same day. After a few minutes, I received an email informing me that my ticket has been cancelled. With shaking hands, I asked him to check if they charged the money to his debit card. They did. So many calls to the company afterwards which boiled down to more waiting, my husband told me to get some sleep. No assurance when he would be able to get the money back or find another flight. That was around 3:00 a.m. and I fell back to sleep with tears in my eyes.

Reunited with my husband at Chicago airport. 

Dreams do come true. :) 

A heart filled with joy that we're finally together. 

At Chicago with Stacy, one of our friends who helped us. 

Finally, first time in Michigan which will be my new home. 

Our journey was definitely not the bed of roses nor was it devoid of hopelessness, pain and disappointments. But, everything that we went through taught us a great lesson about sacrifice and faith in the name of love. It was also the time of realization for us that though we couldn’t be strong at all times, we could always lean on each other for strength. We learned to assure each other that whatever happens, our love would sustain us. It’s easy to utter the words, “I love you,” when everything is smooth sailing. But, when faced with adversities in life, that’s the time that the authenticity of a relationship is truly tested.

I woke up with a heavy heart around 7:00 a.m. No calls from my husband. When I finally called him, he didn’t even want to call back the company and follow-up. He sounded so down but I finally convinced him to call and inquire about the status of my flight. While he was on the phone, I checked my email and there was nothing. I opened my booking account and there it was, my confirmed flight itinerary.

The rest is history as they say. The same day I had my flight booked, I flew to Chicago to be reunited with my husband.

First Christmas together after three Christmases away from each other. 

Our love is to infinity and beyond. 

Our relationship is far from perfect, but, there was never a time when we were facing so many obstacles that we said we’re giving up. There were tears and disappointments, so many times with pain and sadness, but there were also constant reassurances of, “I’m not giving up on you. Ever.”

And so that’s our story. A story of love, sacrifices and faith.

(Our heartfelt thanks to the people who made this journey possible: Mrs. Chitra and family, Sir JB, Topz and Myrna, Jun and Weng, Marjorie, Ms. Dina, Ms. Lian, Teacher Ana and Sir Kiko, Mitos and Perry, Ms. Shida, Ms. Marie, Mr. Akbar, Stacy and Chris, Uncle Fred, Dad, Casey and Jess, and to the rest of our dear family and friends whom we would be greatly indebted for the rest of our lives.)

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