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Tuesday, June 05, 2018

The Best Ways to Deal with People Who Hurt You

Through the years, I had this important realization. The greatest human frailty is simply being human- weak and more often than not, acts on impulse emotionally not rationally. I used to be deeply affected when people are rude or they say mean words. Through the years however, I managed to be more of in control how I react on situations. I perceived it as simply toughening up with the harsh realities of the world. 


1. Breathe. Negativity was just hurled. Instantly, the air turned hostile. Taking a deep breath several times while reminding myself to cool off always works. I think just by simply doing this, I get the moment to reflect on what just happened and if it is worth to say or do something. 

2. Pray. A long time ago back in Naga City, a very dear friend told me not to pray for the other person who act unkindly to me but pray instead for myself. I pray that I may be enlightened and not harbor ill feelings. I pray that I may find forgiveness in my heart. I pray that the pain would not last for a long time. I pray that I would be strong enough and be kind enough to understand what that person is going through. 

3. Forgive. Concealing negative feelings toward others would be more detrimental to one’s self emotionally, spiritually and physically. Forgiving is not forgetting. It simply means choosing not to dwell on the why’s. I have no control about how others would behave toward me but I always have control about my own behavior. By forgiving, I refuse to be carried in the abyss of negativity.
After doing these three steps, I still find myself sometimes broken hearted, hurt, and deeply offended. That’s just another human frailty. However, at the end of the day, I remind myself that by following these steps, I choose to be in control of the situation. 


  1. I have found with having a more positive mindset myself, I’m not nearly as affected by negativity. Forgiveness is a big aspect of that.

  2. The biggest thing in my pinion is breathing and not reacting right away. Take a minute to gather your thoughts before reacting or it can get ugly quick. Great tips

  3. I love this post! You really captured the true essence of how to get past this type of difficult emotional pain. When I was younger, I too, was forever holding on to the hurtful things that happened to me and only recently did I realize that it just isn't worth it to dwell on such situations. It only keeps us angry and bitter inside. Thank you for sharing your tips with us!

  4. Being hurt is something that happens often and plenty in people's lives, I think these three steps/tips are a great way to help cope with that. Also removing super negative people from your life if possible is a good step as well.

  5. Great Post! Being able to forgive those who hurt you makes you a huge difference. I also thank them for helping to be a stronger and wiser person.A Small practice of gratitude helps me immensely.

  6. Great advice! Another thing to do in response to people who hurt you is to remove them because at a certain point there are some people who will constantly hurt you if you give them the opportunity so the greatest from of self-care in that instance is to let them go. I forgive, but never forget and I definitely need to work on that.


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