Tuesday, June 05, 2018

The Best Ways to Deal with People Who Hurt You

Through the years, I had this important realization. The greatest human frailty is simply being human- weak and more often than not, acts on impulse emotionally not rationally. I used to be deeply affected when people are rude or they say mean words. Through the years however, I managed to be more of in control how I react on situations. I perceived it as simply toughening up with the harsh realities of the world. 

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1. Breathe. Negativity was just hurled. Instantly, the air turned hostile. Taking a deep breath several times while reminding myself to cool off always works. I think just by simply doing this, I get the moment to reflect on what just happened and if it is worth to say or do something. 

2. Pray. A long time ago back in Naga City, a very dear friend told me not to pray for the other person who act unkindly to me but pray instead for myself. I pray that I may be enlightened and not harbor ill feelings. I pray that I may find forgiveness in my heart. I pray that the pain would not last for a long time. I pray that I would be strong enough and be kind enough to understand what that person is going through. 

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3. Forgive. Concealing negative feelings toward others would be more detrimental to one’s self emotionally, spiritually and physically. Forgiving is not forgetting. It simply means choosing not to dwell on the why’s. I have no control about how others would behave toward me but I always have control about my own behavior. By forgiving, I refuse to be carried in the abyss of negativity.
  
After doing these three steps, I still find myself sometimes broken hearted, hurt, and deeply offended. That’s just another human frailty. However, at the end of the day, I remind myself that by following these steps, I choose to be in control of the situation. 


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6 comments:

  1. I have found with having a more positive mindset myself, I’m not nearly as affected by negativity. Forgiveness is a big aspect of that.

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  2. The biggest thing in my pinion is breathing and not reacting right away. Take a minute to gather your thoughts before reacting or it can get ugly quick. Great tips

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  3. I love this post! You really captured the true essence of how to get past this type of difficult emotional pain. When I was younger, I too, was forever holding on to the hurtful things that happened to me and only recently did I realize that it just isn't worth it to dwell on such situations. It only keeps us angry and bitter inside. Thank you for sharing your tips with us!

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  4. Being hurt is something that happens often and plenty in people's lives, I think these three steps/tips are a great way to help cope with that. Also removing super negative people from your life if possible is a good step as well.

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  5. Great Post! Being able to forgive those who hurt you makes you a huge difference. I also thank them for helping to be a stronger and wiser person.A Small practice of gratitude helps me immensely.

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  6. Great advice! Another thing to do in response to people who hurt you is to remove them because at a certain point there are some people who will constantly hurt you if you give them the opportunity so the greatest from of self-care in that instance is to let them go. I forgive, but never forget and I definitely need to work on that.

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