"When agony flood thy soul, look up and let the sun rays cleanse your whole being"
The rain fell in a ceaseless bone- jarring torrent. The deafening sound muffled my weeping as I allowed my grief-stricken heart bled through my tears. I was consumed with deep lamentation as I thought of my future- immediate death or long excruciating death. Sorrow, fear, dread, anguish, and blinding pain emotionally and physically rocked my body with helplessness as huge rivulet of tears cascaded on my face. My hope, faith and happiness experienced a grand avalanche. I felt so small and vulnerable as I gritted my teeth and clasped my hands to try to hold on. Until finally, I stopped… not because I felt better but because none were left to shed anymore. My heart ached with unfathomable emptiness as I fell in bottomless dark hollow of loneliness...
It was the time I suffered SUFFERING.
Years passed after that fateful afternoon when I was told that I had a cancer. Due to my weak condition, the road to recovery was long and arduous- almost like a miracle.
Time crept by and slowly; I had recuperated. After all, it wasn’t a cancer but that’s another story. It’s still a wonder how I survived that ordeal. Staring at my scars brought by my illness filled me with wonder how I made it through the yonder desolate chasm of the cruel storm that beseeched my way.
The blemishes on my body seemed like a badge of valour for the courage that gave me the will to survive. The wound in my heart whence life’s sweetness reside was finally healed.
Suffering is an emotional state accompanied by negative emotions and severe pain. It usually threatens one’s sanity and without justice causes irreparable injury.
A famous Philosopher once said, “Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind.”
What is the beauty of suffering?
As for me, the beauty of suffering was affirmed later on after wrestling with gut- wrenching pain good things came my way and finally, I unwrapped the gift of joy.
It was that unexplainable feeling as I woke up each morning suffused with a new dawn of hope. From its vine, the kindling of bliss sprouted.
It was finally falling asleep without fear, filled with faith that when tomorrow comes, I would still be able to feel the scorching heat of the sun on my skin, to touch the mist of the budding flowers, and to look up at the vast horizon of skies.
Character could not be developed without any complexity. Only through occurrence of suffering and experiencing it in full we can be healed. The upturn felt being enfolded like a plaintive song, the source unknown yet the comfort potent.
The most salient message of suffering is when the purpose is finally articulated. When the realization hit that even the gravest of all afflictions has its reason.
I have suffered through long losing streak of endless cruel jokes but the beauty of it finally enfolded my heart. The purpose was finally uttered to me…that with the permanent scars I have endured I will be an inspiration to those who fell but could not find the courage to stand.