
January 2- My sister, Dith, was stabbed in Ireland by a crazy
man. She was in ICU for quite sometime.
January 31- Three from my pupils qualified to compete in
National Schools Press Conference in Baguio. One got 2nd place and two got
third place.
- I was awarded also 1st Place as school paper adviser in the
whole Bicol Region (with a teacher from Bicol University as 2nd place). There
were about 400 school paper advisers who competed in the said category.
February 14- I spent Valentine’s Day with my three pupils in
Legaspi City because they had training for the National competition. I gave
them a treat in Jollibee after the training (What a sweet night!) Then they
checked on some car toys in the mall (sweet indeed!).
February 19- Our 2nd day in Baguio. I woke up at around 2
a.m. with severe stomach pain. I could hardly stand.
February 21- My pupil won several awards in Radio
Broadcasting Competition in Baguio City. That includes 1st place (Team
Category/ Best in Radio Broadcasting/ English) and 2nd Place (Best in
Infomercial/ Individual Category).
February 22- We went to several places in Baguio. I was in
too much pain it was impossible to enjoy it.
February 23- My two pupils out of three won again all over
the Philippines. Feature Writing and Photojournalism. We had snacks in SM
Baguio to celebrate.
February 25- It's Family Day and our feat was announced to
the whole NPS community which made my heart swell with pride and humility.
February 28- I went to the clinic because of stomach ache and
dizziness. I was advised to see a doctor.
February 30- I went to an internist to have a check- up.
First lab test- nothing's wrong.
February 31- We were given motorcade for our national awards.
It was overwhelming to see my name all over the streamers in countless cars.
March 1- I had another check-up and several lab tests too.
Except for my hemoglobin which was low, other tests seem okay.
March 2- Another check-up, another lab tests- nothing's wrong
or the doctors were in the wrong track?
March 3- More lab tests but getting busy for the closing of
the school year.
March 6- I decided not to go back anymore to the doctors-
more of like getting tired with no clear results. Paper works were piling it
was impossible to leave the office. My computer was attached with to-do-things.
March 7- 31- On and off fever and pain. Dizzy too. Paper
works were killing me. Deliberation was going on and endless responsibilities-
TV and radio commercial, promotional posters and leaflets, year-end school
paper deadline, test papers and so many other things to prepare. My strength
was completely robbed out.
- I went to Msgr. for the first time to ask permission to
file a leave of absence. He didn't permit me.
- second time- still he didn't.
-third time he offered to give me the whole summer as my
vacation without being assigned of anything. I didn't accept.
- fourth time- he called for me and told me he talked to the
principal and he finally agreed to let me leave for a while on one condition- I
need to sign something binding me to be back after a year.
March 28- We had dinner in Star Mark for the blow- out of one
of the Most Outstanding Pupils. I asked the asst. principal, T. Alpe, why I was
included to those who were invited for the dinner with the archbishop. She had
this funny look on her face but did not explain to me. The CAE coordinator
though told me that maybe because I worked so hard this school year.
March 29- We went to the wake of a friend's father. I sat
beside T. Charie during snacks and she asked me if I have new dress for the
grade six graduation. I said yes. In the car going back to Naga I was also
asked by my coordinator if I have new dress and I said yes. She seemed happy.
Something fishy was going on.
In the afternoon, I got my new dress but felt like the whole
world crumbled upon me. I hated it. I was ready to tear it apart.
March 30- I was dead tired coz of so many paper works but
compelled to make myself beautiful. Grade six graduation, so we all need to
look beautiful despite of the swollen and black circles in our eyes. I was
forced to use my dress last year!
-In the morning, I asked again the principal why I was
invited in the dinner with the archbishop to think that it's supposed to be for
coordinators and guests only. She's sort of hiding something and I could feel
it.
-Something’s in the air I couldn't put into words what
exactly. But I knew something funny was going on.
- Right after the awarding of honors for the pupils the CAE
coordinator being the emcee was having sort of strange speech. Oh, my God! My
name was called to be given special plaque of recognition for my achievements
as school paper adviser. I couldn't move! Trece, a co-teacher accompanied me in
going to the stage. The award was given by the Archbishop, and other heads of
school. I knew it! It was a beautiful feeling. My efforts were finally
recognized. A regret though because I wasn't able to deliver a speech since I
was too astonished to think of one.
-Two of the awardees were an alumnus priest- Rev. Fr. Michael
Dela Rosa and a successful alumnus- Mr. Gil Genio (One of the big names in
Globe). I was the third one and no prepared speech at all!
- The dinner was spectacular and I was just simply enthralled
with the surprise. They were all teasing me relentlessly. I was given a lift on
the way home by T. Alpe, the asst. principal.
- In bed, though in pain again I slept in peaceful slumber.
March 31- Though tired the previous night, I woke up early
for our Teachers' Intrams in Pasacao Beach Resort. I was thinking of giving a
blow-out but never had time to prepare since I wasn't aware of the award. I
just brought wine which was a gift last Christmas.
- We had so much fun and I won in several games. I was so
fast in running that I couldn't imagine I was already terribly ill that time. I
went boating too with some close friends much to the chagrin of oldies. They
were so worried we were not permitted to go near the island I've been dying to
reach. We also saw tourists in other private resorts, well it's indeed a
beautiful place.
April- My sister and her daughter went back to Ireland.
- I didn't join the tour in Manila
- My mother had a stroke.
- I finally made the decision to stay in Batangas.
April 28- I bid farewell to my pupils in Journalism Class.
That was our last day and my last day also in NPS. They gave me the best
messages ever I've received in my whole life!
April 29- I broke the news to ma that I was leaving her. It
was painful.
April 30- I travelled going to Batangas- for good.
May 1- My bleeding started to get worst. My sister saw me for
the first time after several years and told me I was dying because I looked so
pale.
May 14- I could hardly stand. I woke up bathed with blood. The
thick towel too was soaked with blood. I was in too much pain. I had my
check-up in Mary Mediatrix, Lipa. I was scheduled for an ultrasound. The doctor
said I might need blood transfusion.
May 15- I was alone in the room for ultrasound. Tears brimming
on my face. I had bilateral ovarian tumors. As the doctor probed and poked the
instrument my hope died that moment. I went out of the room devoid of emotions.
I wanted to bury myself in agony. My sister, Dith, cried with my pain and
promised unwavering support.
May 16- My brother told me to seek for another opinion in
Manila.
May 17- I had a check-up with another doctor. I was scheduled
for another ultra sound. I had the tumor-marker test the same day. They
extracted 6 syringes of blood from me.
May 21- I had another ultrasound. Same results only that my
condition was getting worst.
May 28- My birthday. I got my lab results. Normal CA 125 was
0-35 but I got 94.7-high. High probability of cancer. The internist checked on
me. He was hesitant to give the CP Clearance for the surgery. At the end,
agreements were made. I was requested to have CT Scan to check on the extent of
the damage in my stomach.
We went to Glorrietta after the check-up to celebrate my
birthday or to forget the bad news? I wasn't really sure. Everybody's laughing
while we were watching the movie. I was silently crying. I felt like my life
has no more hope.
May 29- I had CT scan. It was the most painful of all the lab
tests. I was in too much pain I was in tears the whole time. Needle pricks were
left and right. I was clutching so hard my rosary feeling like I was being
robbed out of breath. I was in the room for about three hours.
May 30- I faxed the result to my doctor in Manila. I didn't
understand any medical terms. We had lunch in Pizza hut. I ate plenty after
several days of being in misery and besides the food was too expensive not to
be enjoyed.
I went home earlier to rest and left Shayne and Dith in the
mall for some groceries. The moment I arrived home, I kept on thinking back
about the word carcinomatosis in the CT scan result. I immediately made
research in the internet. It's widespread carcinoma in the body-or in short
cancer. The phone rang and it was my doctor. She told me I was scheduled
already the following day to be admitted in the hospital. I'll have surgery the
soonest possible time.
That afternoon, my family and whole NPS family cried with me.
They've comforted me in ways possible but it was just too much to handle. I
could only cry and cry but it was impossible to feel better.
That night, my bestfriend Tin and T. Charie, our principal
who's also a very good friend travelled to be with me. I wasn't able to sleep
the whole night.
May 31- My sister, Angel, accompanied the driver in fetching
Tin and T.Charie. The car was stoned and it has a damage. When it rains it
really pours). Now, the problem was how to explain to my sister, Con, but Dith
told me she'll do the explaining.
I was admitted in the hospital then received pricks and
pricks and endless needle pricks. I've mastered how to receive it by clutching
my hand tightly and closing my eyes then praying, "I believe in God..."
We couldn't find blood donor. We were forced to buy.
June 1- A mass was offered on my behalf in NPS chapel and
other parts of the world through friends and family. Text messages flooded my
cellphone. Calls too which made me cry and cry more.
My surgery was postponed. My doctor talked to me for a very
long time giving me courage to face my dilemma. My blood transfusion also
started. My sister, Baby, arrived from Subic (she attended seminar) and stayed
the whole night in the hospital.
June 2- I woke up and couldn't breath. I was put in oxygen
and received more and more needled pricks. I dreaded the time hospital
attendants would enter because I knew they were about to do something painful
to me! Potassium was the most painful IV of all. It made my arm swollen.
My sister, Nene, arrived from Bicol. She has with her some of
the papers I needed.
I refused for my BP to be checked. My two arms were swollen
and extremely painful. Besides, full of bandages, too, then the head nurse
entered and I had no choice but to follow.
Afternoon was too much. I couldn't bear the thought of not
being able to go out of the OR alive. I posted a prayer in my bed railing and
prayed it incessantly.
My sisters were in agony too. I hated their looks when I was
brought in OR at 2:30 p.m. I made them miserable.
I was put to sleep at around 2:45 p.m. I could hear myself
singing mass hymns before finally drifting off to sleep.
I woke up around 7 p.m. (there was a radio outside of the
recovery room so I knew) I cried bitter tears. I thought the operation was that
short because they couldn’t touch anymore the tumors. I feel asleep again.
Still too weak to fight it.
I woke up again at around 9 pm. On the way to my room.
Everything's swirling. My sister, Nene, kept on telling me it wasn't a cancer.
Or was I just hallucinating?
June 3- I woke up around 3 a.m. somebody opened the door of
my room but nobody entered. I was too dizzy to stand and check. Then it opened
and closed again. It happened for about three-four times. I tried to wake up my
sister to check on it. She fell from the chair. Nobody was outside. I might be
that dizzy but I knew the door opened and closed several times. Then
nothingness again. I was still lightheaded.
I woke up at around 7:30. Still can't open my eyes for long.
Fr. Jerry Orbos said in the TV. "You are blessed. Marami ka pang
gagawin". (You will still do many things)
My sister finally explained that it wasn't a cancer and no
organs were removed just like what they told us they would before the
operation. The Oncologist and other doctors just cut through my intestines
which were glued together to check on my other internal organs. Severely damage
but curable. I won't need chemotherapy.
My blood transfusion continued then I had convulsion with
very high fever. I was thrashing and writhing back and forth and it felt as if
every cell of my body was on fire. Doctors and nurses were frantically trying
to figure out what went wrong. More and more needled pricks again.
Good that when Shayne and Trisha (my nieces) arrived with my
sister, Dith, my fever subsided. I had no food for about three days already and
I only survived with different IV's attached to me. I was craving for good food
badly!
My doctor cleaned my wound that night. It was gruesome. I
felt repulsive looking at it. My doctor also showed my pictures during my
operation. It was simply horrible and my stomach was stretched wide open by an
instrument!
She told me I've never been luckier in my whole life.
June 6- No further complications so I was discharged from the
hospital. My sisters, Dith and Con, and my brother, Nestor, paid quite a
fortune for the hospital bills. Made my feelings more miserable.
Though I was in front of the car and it was reclined, I
vomited the whole travel. I stopped the car at the middle of SLEX.
June 7- My agony in the company of medicines started. More
than 20 medicines were my companion before and after meals, breakfast, lunch
and dinner. I cried almost every day not fully understanding the reason why. I
was grumpy and nobody could talk to me properly.
June 13- I had vaccination- anti-flu and anti-pneumonia. I
had fever that night and despite of taking medicines that would put me into
sleep, I was awake the whole night. Uncontrollably crying. There's an emptiness
I couldn’t explain.
June 4- November- My dilemma continued. I was in constant
pain. I was always in bed I already had bedsores. I also had rashes all over my
legs and arms. I cried more- in silence. But I've started to gain weight. My
appetite improved and slowly my body recovered.
December- My heart was in deep sadness brought by shining
glimmering Christmas ornaments. Christmas carols brought tears to my eyes.
December 7- My mother and Shayne’s birthday party. I was busy
the whole day.
December 8- Msgr. Jim, our school director died. He's very
close to my heart.
December 12- I went to Bicol to attend Msgr.'s wake.
My co-teachers saw me for the first time after seven months.
They hugged and kissed me and were just simply ecstatic to see me.
December 13- I gave eulogy for Msgr. in a very large crowd to
the biggest church in Naga.
December 14- Msgr. Jim was buried in Holy Rosary Major
Seminary.
December 15- I had lunch date with the parents of a former
pupil. They gave me a gift.
-I also delivered speech for the bridal shower of a friend.
December 17- I went back to Batangas. A bit sick with sore
throat and cough.
December 25-
Happiest Christmas ever.
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ReplyDeleteHi Nins! Haba nito ah! Remembering National Press Cons makes me sad because I never made it to the Nationals..sad...maybe i'm supposed to be doing other things..it's just that my mom has been a press con veteran and Icouldn't duplicate her feat...waahh...
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