Teacher Wanderer: Success, Failure, Loneliness, Faith

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Friday, November 23, 2007

Success, Failure, Loneliness, Faith

As the pages of my life ran out, I will remember with tinge of nostalgic feelings the times that:

I first remember dreaming of God. At the age of six when I woke up with so much joy in my heart. The image of Jesus I dreamed about was far from the one I always saw before in our altar. He wasn't the one hanged on the cross with a suffering face. In my dream, I remember vividly dancing and singing with Him while we keep on swirling and our shriek of laughter filled the air.


I felt that I was terribly alone. August 2006, days before the grand launching of my first ever big project-the Diamond Jubilee coffee table magazine, felt like I was at the bottom of a dark pit. Everything was turning wrong and I had nobody to turn to.

My first failure. I was in grade five when I was chosen for the second time to compete in the Listening and Speaking Contest. I didn't have the vaguest idea it could be my first failure. All the other contestants who represented the school won different places except me.

My first success. I was in grade two when I experienced to be chosen as first honor of the class. It was a bitter- sweet success because the whole school year I was suffering from the hands of a very strict teacher and everything was going wrong at home. I guess, hard work pays off after all. 

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This is a fraction of who am I. The ‘I’ is often ignored because ever since I could remember ‘we’ and ‘they’ hold more responsibilities since they denote more number of people involved.

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