The other day while watching my nieces have their hair
treatment at David's salon, I busied myself mulling over the series of events
that catapulted me into my current role- that of a doting aunt.
Without much regrets really. After all, I enjoy being with
two pretty girls though at times they could be a real toughie in the head.
Sometimes it made me wonder though what happened to my five-
year teaching stint. Was it for real?
Don't get me wrong. I haven't forgotten for a single second.
There were too many precious memories to think of. However, with so many things
that happened in barely seven months, it sorts of clouded my mind.
Sometimes I do find myself drowned in tears begging paled
memoir not to leave. I tried to hold on tight but my grasp seemed not taut
enough. You see, life's journey led me to a completely different path.
I once had a simple life or would it be apt to say a complex
but uncomplicated life? My day usually starts at 5 am then before going to
school I would drop off San Francisco church to say a short prayer. That was
every morning and I never missed a day without doing it.
I would then have my regular classes and break times are
usually spent in front of the computer in my office. My "real" break
was only during lunch where I got to eat in the school canteen with my friends.
Time in school usually ends at 6-6:30 p.m.
Sleeping time varied depending on the deadlines I'm trying to
beat. At times, I would drift off to sleep at 10 pm but most of the times
around 1-2 a.m. Social life was only the regular parties in the school.
Now, I find myself in entirely unusual situation. My day
starts at 10-11 a.m. (depends what time the medicines would wear off) and ends
as early as 9 p.m. The description of my work includes simple tutoring and
attending school functions of my two nieces. Pretty challenging, right?
Oh, well it doesn't end there. You see, I mastered also how
to reduce children's fever and memorized more or less medicines for kids.
The beauty of it all I guess is that finally I've been doing
my first love- that is writing. I shoved it off for quite a long time because I
was so career-driven. I do love teaching but my first love is really writing.
Now, I could say I am more purpose-driven.
When I came face to face with a life-changing event in my
life, I also found myself amidst swirling questions which led me to astounding
realizations that there's one part of my life that I haven't satisfied yet-and
that is fulfilling my real love in writing.
Notwithstanding my current complicated life because of going
back and forth to the hospital, I am thankful for the opportunity to finally do
what I should have done for such a long time now. Without the tedious pressure
that haunted me everyday of my life, I'm finally chasing my ultimate dream.
I'm not really crazy to think that I'll be in the big time
but I guess just to do something about my dream is more than enough now.
On the other hand, I do miss teaching. Every moment that I
spent there was full of bitter-sweet memories. There was this occasional losing
myself fuming in anger but then there was also moment where I found myself
swelling with pride and love to innocent little beings.
My life now is quite farfetched than what it was before. But
even if the memories of yesterdays have started to be vague, I continue to
chase it. The faded memories lit up that tiny hope in my heart and flared up by
the unconditional love of those whom I left behind.
The tears and
laughter would remain in my heart albeit of faded memories...it won't end up
wilted rose.
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