Thirty-Day Challenge for a More Meaningful Life (Day 1: Forgive Someone)

It is easy to get lost in a shuffle. Wake up-work-sleep-repeat the pattern type of thing and miss the basic truth that one day, we are all going to die. Chances are, we are too busy living our life that we are neglecting the groundbreaking message of what we are here for.

The bigger picture of having a consequential journey is sometimes inconceivable to fathom. Since it is the first day of September, I will start with a thirty-day challenge of living a more meaningful life imbued with commitment, meaning, serenity and contentment.

Day 1. Write a letter of forgiveness to the person who hurt you the most.

A known author once said that forgiving is hard because human consciousness has a hard time living at the present. The episodic memories bring us back and forth to the past and present reminding us of the pain that the experience left us. Hence, finding forgiveness in our heart will definitely not be easy.

I am starting at the most difficult challenge because it would be easier to remind myself in the coming days that if I was able to forgive the person who hurt me the most, then everything else is possible.

Bottling the pain inside is not beneficial to us. Sooner or later, it will coat our heart with bitterness and cynicism that’ll affect us to live a healthier life. Forgiving also means releasing us from the pessimism that incarcerate our ability to make humble decisions.

It is more burdensome to carry the weight of resentment to the person who caused us misery. By choosing to forgive, we also choose to heal and to free ourselves from negativities and toxicity associated with pain.

Martin Luther King, Jr. explicated it beautifully, “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”


Today, I choose to forgive and it feels good.

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How We Survived a Long Distance Relationship

Long distance relationship is not for a faint heart. Humans are wired for instant gratification and the thought of not seeing or not being able to talk to the person you love is a difficult struggle to bear.

During our simple wedding at Jakarta.

Skype or Facebook messenger may not totally diminish the pain of separation but you can use it to build a strong foundation for your relationship. After all, it is known that people in long distance relationship have deeper and more meaningful communications. David and I were separated thousands of miles before finally seeing each other in person and more years of separation after getting married and processing our papers. It was through video calls and messages that we were able to work on establishing a stronger relationship.

Don’t doubt your love. Second-guessing decisions will weaken both of your will. What kills long distance relationship is the constant underlying ambiguity or irrational expectations. David and I had the same vision since we first talked. We knew that our goal for the future is to grow old together. This helped us surpassed all the struggles that we faced.

Don’t listen to skepticism. You have no responsibility to explain your choices in life and that includes your relationship. It is complicated enough for two people in love. People who surround you are merely spectators wishing for you to succeed or hoping for you to fail. When I married my husband, so many people expressed their doubts and indignation. But, marrying my best friend is the best thing that I have ever done. Cliche as it may sound, listen to what your heart says.

Live in love and hope. A long distance relationship without hope will not live. Eventually, the excitement will die. I remember that from the first day we started talking until the last day we were separated, the level of excitement whenever we talked was the same. I would wake up 4:00 a.m. to be able to talk to him before work and he would do the same thing. Thousands of messages, hundreds of phone calls, and endless conversations kept our relationship strong.

Communicate from your Heart. Be open about your feelings. Spoken words are important since it’s hard to read body signals if you are thousand miles from each other. Explain your fears, insecurities, and reasons for jealousy. Love thrives in honesty.

There is no secret formula to make sure that long distance relationship works. However, my husband and I can assure you that all the tears, all the pains, and all the difficulties are definitely worth it. The day I came here to the United States to be reunited with him is the best thing that ever happened to me. His tight hug and tears of happiness affirmed a deep commitment to our future and to a love which is to infinity and beyond.

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Filipino Immigrant's Life in the U.S.

I love the trails here! 

Some days, I try to picture my life back in the Philippines and Indonesia. My day was usually filled with worries on teaching, winning in different contests, and meeting deadlines of school publications. However, life has taken a complete turn around when I moved here in the US.

I had doubts when I left the stability of the past. Financially, I was secured. Professionally, there were many opportunities. It was the thought of spending the rest of my life with someone I love that pacified all those uncertainties. The beginning of compunction is the birth of a new life and strange as it may sound, sometimes you need to travel far and wide to realize what your heart is missing.

I didn't really have any idea of the level of toxicity of my life until I came here and experienced some things that I used to disregard. Life in the U.S. has taught me the greatest joy of simplicity. I find more enjoyment walking on the white sand than shopping at the malls. Though I still own the latest gadgets, I find more happiness in spending time with my husband going on a walk. I find more serenity living in the city and having the pleasure of watching different animals right at the comfort of our home.

I had doubts when I left the stability of the past. Financially, I was secured. Professionally, there were many opportunities. It was the thought of spending the rest of my life with someone I love that pacified all those uncertainties.

Life in the U.S. is not perfect and I have my own shares of struggles and difficulties. We may not live an extravagant life but every meal is a reminder that it is worth a one-month meal of a child back home.

Some decisions may define your future while others are meant to change your life. Though I miss the people and the place where I used to live, I won’t lie that I found the meaning of my being when I chose to move here with my husband.

Life in the U.S. helped me to plant my feet firmly on the ground and cultivate a simple heart. Since I get to spend more time outdoors, it also helped me to live a life rooted from within.

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Solid Reasons Why You Should not Give Up

“Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?”
― Haruki Murakami

Life is ever evolving; change is the only thing constant. When circumstances give you thousands of reasons to doubt your abilities and forget your dreams, DON’T GIVE UP.

The vision of the future might be blurry as you face huge obstacles, keep on trying and pushing. You may not have all the answers to your questions but one day you will.

You may dread waking up and facing another difficult day but DON'T GIVE UP. Longfellow said, “Every person has a secret sorrow that the world knows not”. It can’t always be a rainy day; one day the sun will shine.

If you see nothing but failures and you are overwhelmed with your ability to succeed, DON'T GIVE UP. Think of the lesson of time- to everything there is a season; and a time to every purpose under heaven.

If you are drowning in sorrow, DON’T GIVE UP. Time and pain are relative. By allowing your soul to linger on the pain, you are inadvertently growing the wounds inside you. There is a ray of hope if you will start swimming on the surface.

If your will is weakened by discouragement from others, DON’T GIVE UP. Ignore your naysayers and draw strength from within. It is only through deep introspection that you would realize, life is worth fighting for. Unless you are dead, there is no justifiable reason for you not to fight back.

Don’t drown in the sea of nonsensical thoughts. You are needed. You are wanted. Your life has a purpose.

The instinct to fight is within you.

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How Death Teaches Us to Live Fully

Too many deaths in the recent days reminded me that no one is promised a tomorrow. Their stories though painful reminded me of essential lessons in life.

The first lesson was from a young boy I didn’t know personally but whose death made me shed buckets of tears. I witnessed his battle and journey of bravery through his Facebook page which was regularly updated by his mom. Through him, I learned that death is a celebration of life- a well-lived life. It was hard to imagine the life of a young boy who fought cancer since three years old only to lose it at the end. However, through his positivity, he was able to transcend his pain and inspire others.

There are days when we wake up that our hearts are anxious about how the day would go not fully realizing it might be the last day of our life. How do we really live fully?

The second lesson was from the tragic death of a family of five. Five souls perished in a split second while they were on the way home from a vacation. The father and four daughters died instantly in a car crash leaving the mother as the only survivor. The heartbreaking story reminded me that every second of life is of infinite value. Living life to the fullest is tough because it is scary to make mistakes. However, these can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. The fragility of life, the fact that it could be taken in a split second, reminded me to live life fully.

The last lesson hit me the hardest because it came too close- the death of our loving neighbor who showed me nothing but kindness. Though we were told of the looming news several months ago, the truth was nothing that could prepare you for it The world seemed to stand still when I read about her passing. She was a beautiful person in and out that will be surely missed.

The question about death has motivated the most arduous efforts of philosophers. But, the reality of death lays plainly with the bleakness of the grave. Death is ultimately inevitable. As Hemingway said, “Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.”

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Qualities that Make a Great Teacher

One truth about children that resonates with me was explicated by Rousseau: Children are neither good nor evil. They can be either. It’s how they are brought up that determines that. Therefore, parents and teachers play a crucial role on the lives of children. While teachers are given years of education to do just that, the task of shaping the lives of young, impressionable children can be daunting at times.

The qualities that make a great teacher are not easy to inculcate or duplicate, but understanding these qualities can set a distinct standard of excellence to strive for.

ACCEPTING. Create an environment of love by accepting any kind of learners.

BUBBLY. Teaching is a high-energy job that requires constant interaction with different students and an upbeat, bubbly personality is a must.

CONSIDERATE. Students need to feel that they are equally valued and their ideas, beliefs and tenets are respected.

DEEP THINKER. To gain understanding of the children’s complex development, a deeper insight is needed.

EFFECTIVE. Studies revealed that students who were placed with highly effective teachers significantly outperformed comparable students on various assessments.

FAIR. Our society is founded on the idea of justice and equality and teachers play a vital role in instilling this.

GENUINE. A child can see through a looking glass and he/she can can feel if you genuinely care about her/ him.

HONEST. Teaching honesty helps develop character and self-esteem.

INTERESTING. Children can be truly engaged if teachers present lessons in a thought-provoking manner.

JOYFUL. Learning is futile if the experience of “doing school” destroys children’s spirit to learn. Boredom is a disease of epidemic proportion.

KIND. Too often, we underestimate the power of kindness. A kind teacher helps students feel cared for and loved.

LIGHTHEARTED. Teachers have the power to create lighthearted fun out of serious learning.

MOTHERLY. An explicit mothering role to students can bring an inexplicable amount of positive change.

NATURAL. Be natural. If your heart is in teaching, it will naturally show.

OPTIMISTIC. When students are facing hurdles, the teacher can influence them to be more optimistic in attaining their goals.

PASSIONATE. Passionate teachers believe in the importance of their job and their role to promote student’s intellectual and moral development.

QUINTESSENTIAL. Teachers find gratification that their job is worthy of sacrifice.

REFLECTIVE. The ability to reflect and draw decisions on thoughtful analysis is an integral part of being a teacher.

SINCERE. It runs through the core of your soul and reflects to the way you deal with all kinds of learners.

THOUGHTFUL. A thoughtful teacher carefully plans to foster learning.

UPRIGHT. The role of a teacher in a society is undeniable and being an upright teacher means displaying good character worthy of emulation.

VIRTUOUS. The old mantra holds true: virtue is first “caught” and then “taught”.

WILLING. Be willing to explore new teaching ideas and strategies.

YOUTHFUL. Teacher’s enthusiasm is infectious. Be youthful. Be alive.

ZEALOUS. A zealous teacher can make a world of passionate and energetic young learners.

Most importantly, teach LIFE.

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Five Reasons Why You Should Never Give Up Writing a Thesis

Overwhelmed would be an understatement to describe the emotion that accompanies thesis writing. When the word ‘deadline’ is mentioned, writer’s block can get magnified ten times. As you desperately wrestled with many negative emotions that might hurdle your final requirement for graduation, do not forget that oftentimes, procrastination is mostly because of fear. The key to continue fighting is reminding yourself that you can do this. Here are some helpful tips on how to handle this difficult situation:

1. Set your goals. Start with small goals and be positive when things don’t work your way. Make sure they are realistic and attainable. 

2. Listen for feedback. The sooner you know what changes must be made, the easier it would be for you. Nobody wants to rewrite the whole chapter after working so hard on it. Sometimes, listening would give you many ideas on how to proceed with your study. Instead of taking feedback as a stumbling block, think about it as a motivation for improvement.

3. Be analytical of expectations. Follow the advice given by your professors. Expectations differ on every professor so the key is understanding exactly what’s expected from your research.

4. Rest if you must but don’t give up. We do get tired and there’s nothing wrong admitting that. When you force yourself to write more at times that you are so tired and discouraged, the harder it will be. Recharge then go back fighting.

5. Stop making excuses. At the end of it all, what matters most is that you need to finish the race or you’re out of the graduation. Stop making excuses and continue writing.

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Chris Pratt Unveiled Nine Awesome Rules for the Next Generation at the 'MTV'

Chris Pratt's Nine Awesome Rules for the Next Generation.

1. Breathe. If you don’t, you will suffocate.

2. You have a soul. Be careful with it.

3. Don’t be a turd. If you are strong, be a protector. If you are smart, be a humble influencer. Strength and intelligence can be weapons, so do not wield them against the weak. That makes you a bully. Be bigger than that.

4. When giving a dog medicine, put the medicine in a little piece of hamburger and they won't even know they're eating medicine.

5. It doesn't matter what it is. Earn it. A good deed. Reach out to someone in pain. Be of service. It feels good and it's good for your soul.

6. God is real. God loves you. God wants the best for you. Believe that, I do.

7. If you have to poop at a party, but you're embarrassed because you're going to stink up the bathroom, just do what I do. Lock the door, sit down, get all of the pee out first. And then, once all the pee is done, poop, flush, boom! You minimize the amount of time that the poop's touching the air.

Because if you poop first, it takes you longer to pee and then you're peeing on top of it, stirring up the poop particles, create a cloud, goes out, then everyone at the party will know that you pooped. Just trust me, it's science.

8. Learn to pray. It's easy, and it is so good for your soul.

9. Nobody is perfect. People will tell you that you are perfect just the way that you are, you are not! You are imperfect. You always will be, but there is a powerful force that designed you that way, and if you are willing to accept that, you will have grace.

And grace is a gift. Like the freedom that we enjoy in this country, that grace was paid for with somebody else's blood. Do not forget that. Don't take that for granted.

After 20 years, Yahoo Messenger is finally shutting down

I am being sentimental. Twenty years of service and Yahoo Messenger is shutting down. After the death of Friendster, it is the next casualty of the evolution in messaging platform. The news came as a crashing blow but there was really nothing surprising about it. With the increasing number of Facebook messenger users, it was bound to happen.

The 20-year-old app finally capitulated to the competition and will bid its goodbye to the virtual world of technology on July 17, 2018. It will be a sad farewell to one of the pioneers in this platform which paved way for the improvement of communications of friends and families all over the world. I believe that the rise in popularity of emoticons in Internet forums could be attributed to Yahoo Messenger. After all, who could forget the smiley that used to greet us in opening the app?

It is therefore with a sad heart that I remember the five unforgettable features of Yahoo Messenger.

1. The BUZZ- The ‘buzz’ button that shakes the window message whenever you press it is on top of the list. There’s this feeling of urgency and excitement whenever you hear that ‘buzz’ sound combined with the moving box. Facebook messenger doesn’t have this and I doubt if it could replicate this YM’s feature.

2. The ‘OPENING SMILEY’- The opening smiley is a welcome respite from a long day of work and you’re trying to get in touch with your friends and family. Well, it becomes a sad emoticon whenever the log in is not successful. Again, current communication platforms do not have this feature.

3. The YAHOO MUSIC- This feature allows you to choose different music by theme or genre. I remember working long hours while listening to jazz and country music. You could even show your contacts what music you were listening to! 

4. The STATUS- Long before Facebook asked you ‘what’s on your mind?’, YM already allowed its users to let your contacts know about your day and whether you’re available or not. It also has the option to keep your availability hidden by showing that you’re offline even though you're technically NOT.

5. The Emoticons- Yahoo Messenger has it all. From celebration, daily greetings, to sad emotions. And it definitely deserves a sad emoticon right now.

Yahoo Messenger was my first taste of modern instant communication. It’s a cliché’ but it’s the truth nonetheless that not everything has a happy ending, and not everything has an ending. Some things just kind of dribble away or cut off abruptly. Yahoo Messenger might be joining its virtual friends in Technology heaven but the memories will be left forever in the hearts of its loyal users.

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Why You Should Be Proud as an Introvert

I was in first grade when my teacher brought me in a room full of kids rehearsing for a dance. Apparently, she was expecting me to join them and prepare for the End of the Year program. I was standing at the corner for more than an hour just staring at them much to her chagrin.

When I was in high school, a teacher told me that my younger sister has better ‘Public Relations’ and she advised me to mingle more with my schoolmates. In my last year of high school, I won as president of the school government organization. How did I do it? My sister campaigned for me in the entire school.

Growing up, I could not understand why speaking came naturally for my younger sister and whenever we’re with a group of people, she fits in perfectly. I, on the other hand, stayed quiet and never initiated a conversation.

I hated delivering speeches or being at the limelight. Still, I won awards for public speaking and even became president of Public Speaking Society back in college. However, it takes a lot of mind conditioning before I could do it.

One day, I stumbled upon the word that best describes me- an introvert. I used to think that it was sort of a deficiency but through the years, a deeper part of myself made me realized it is not.

I am an introvert and it’s perfectly fine if I didn’t like speeches or initiating conversations. It’s not because I could not do it. Discernment comes first- should I say it or not?

I am an introvert and it’s definitely okay if I don’t prefer working in a group. It’s not because I could not do it but I thrive more working by myself.

It’s okay if you don’t see me mingling me with the horde of unknowns. Believe me, I enjoy the company of friends but I’d rather spend some quiet time ‘observing the world.’

I am an introvert and it’s probably not the best thing knowing that I live in an extroverted society but I gather my energy from within and I am focused on inward turning than seeking out external stimulation. The world of an introvert is just more meaningful, more peaceful, and closer to the unknown utopia.

Yes, it’s okay to be an introvert. As Ghandi puts it, “Speak only if it improves upon the silence.”

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Nails In The Fence - Inspiration Peak

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.    Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. 

          

Finally, the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence.  The fence will never be the same.  When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out.  It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound is still there." A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.